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  • Yes, often times a separation is a good thing when one spouse has had an affair. It gives each spouse a chance to stand back and reflect on how they feel and if they really love their spouse or whether to move on from the marriage. Once a spouse has cheated it is difficult to earn the trust back from the other spouse. Perhaps put a few months limit on the separation and then meet to discuss how both of you feel about each other. The quote, 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' may apply in this case. Sometimes spouses don't know how lucky they are and how much they love their spouse until they are no longer there.
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Q: Is separation after your spouse has had an affair be good for your marriage?
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Related questions

Does an infidelity in marriage automatically mean the end?

If a spouse has only one extramarital affair then it does not mean the end of a marriage, but only that the marriage is in trouble and most of it is caused by lack of communication so each spouse knows how the other feels. Sometimes spouses are married so long that the magic has gone out of their marriage and they may need to get away together on a bit of a romantic holiday even if it is just a weekend away at something you both enjoy. If a spouse is constantly having affairs then yes, it is probably the end of the marriage because the spouse cannot commit to one person and has a disregard for their spouse. Marriage counseling is another good way to learn tools to save the marriage, but often the male spouse is not open to airing out his marriage problems with a counselor.


What are the odds of saving your marriage?

If the spouse does not constantly cheat and made one mistake by having an affair then talking it out in a calm manner and facing how you both can improve upon the marriage may save the marriage or, you both could go to marriage counseling to learn tools to deal with every day life's stresses. If the spouse is constantly cheating; may be on drugs or abuses alcohol or is constantly verbally or physically harmful to their spouse it is best to move on. There is a good rate of successful marriages if one spouse has only had one affair if the couple decide to make it work. 'To err is human.'


What is the real danger of your spouse emotional affair?

The real danger of a spouse's emotional affair is that often the spouse emotionally cheating does not feel they can come to their married spouse and talk out any problems and there is a huge void of good communication skills. Everyone has marriage problems and the two people in the marriage should be mature enough to discuss anything they are not happy about so they can strengthen their marriage and if this doesn't happen then one of the spouses will often go to the opposite sex to get their slant on the problem at hand and emotions run high and this can lead to a sexual relationship.


Is making an apology from your spouse affair enough to believe him?

When your husband has an affair and apologizes this is not good enough to fully trust him because he decided on his own to break that bond of trust you both once had for each other by having the affair. Make him earn your trust back and if he really loves you and is not a man that has had more than one affair then seek marriage counseling to help give you the tools to make your marriage stronger.


Is it to much too handle if you want to save your relationship after your spouse affair?

That's your decision. First step would be marriage counseling.If the cheating partner is unwilling, the prospects don't look good.


How can someone balance privacy with intimacy inside the marriage after the affair?

When either the wife or husband has cheated then they have broken that bond of trust and it can take a long while to earn that trust back. When someone chooses to have an affair they hurt their spouse a great deal because it is simply saying to them 'I don't respect you; you make me so unhappy I have to find someone else.' The best medicine in a marriage is good communication skills and both partners should be able to sit down and talk about their feelings openly. No marriage is perfect and during the course of a marriage one spouse will let the other down in many ways, but that does not mean they don't love their spouse, but simply means they are not perfect. No one is perfect and if we can't possibly know ourselves 100% then we cannot know another 100%. Both men and women that are victims of their spouse having an affair are not that interested in intimacy right away because all they can think of is their mate cheating with another woman or man and why? The spouse feels there are in competition with the person their spouse had an affair with. The marriage will be unbalanced for either several months to possibly a year or more if they both work at it. Marriage counseling can help to get to the root of the problems in the marriage. Sometimes it simply boils down to the fact that one or both of the spouses are immature when they expect their marriage not to go through some bumpy times and it certainly gives them no cause to cheat. As far as having privacy the trust is earned; then the victimized spouse feels more secure and will let their spouse go out with friends on the odd occasion or give their spouse more room for privacy. Meanwhile the spouse who cheated can make an effort to include his/her spouse (quality time) going for dinner; dancing; movies, etc., which will help them become more intimate. The cheating spouse can always go to another room; have a hobby at home; go on the computer, etc., until they have earned the right of trust from their spouse.


Do you wonder if there is hope for your marriage after your spouse cheated on you?

If the spouse is not a multiple cheater and has only cheated once then 'to err is human' and if the two of you need to sit down and communicate what the other is feeling without yelling and screaming or placing blame on each other. Seeking marriage counseling is a good idea and it is important that the spouse knows that the counselor is not there to place blame on one person, but to give the couple tools to work through their marriage problems. Many marriages have survived one affair, but not multiple affairs.


Why is it when the flashback of spouse affair she feels like it just happen yesterday?

When a man cheats on his wife he has broken the bond of trust and has deeply hurt his wife. She is hurt because she trusted him and thought he loved her and she is hurt and angry over the thought of her spouse sneaking out and having an affair making her look like a fool. That memory will always be with the wife, but, if they try at their marriage it may be saved if the cheating spouse is willing to know a good thing when he has it. People who cheat on their spouses always lose in the end.


Do you need to know all the details of the affair?

That could be entertaining! Go for it! ANSWER: STOP, you will be making a huge mistakes. Yes it will help some but if you will rebuild your marriage, with your spouse it's not going to be easy. This affair that he or she did will stay with you for a long time. Your mind will always be in that place and it will hunt you. It will not stop because your heart is still broken and you don't have the trust. Let God solve the pain that your spouse gave you. Always remember sooner or later what goes around, comes around. Think about it and all you can do is tell your spouse your feeling, your pain, and let time heal it for you..


Is it normal to go on vacations with out spouse in a good marriage?

It really depends on the type of vacation. If you go on a company vacation it is ok to leave your spouse. Any other vacation , take your spouse.


How do you lead a good married life after your spouse had an affair?

It is a very hard thing to do. Your spouse bottom line was unfaithful. Marriage is a covenant; a promise between two people to be faithful and love each other. If your spouse cheats then they have broken their side of the covenant, meaning you shouldn't have to keep holding onto to your end either. It hurts to know that someone you love felt intimate about someone else; showing an expression of love and affection such as that to someone else. I'm not sure if this is the case, but sometimes incidents happen when there is alcohol or some drug abuse involved; but it means they were not being considerate or responsible. Think about the fact that many people can still resist things that are wrong when they were drunk or high. But it does explain less of a sense of good judgement. Something that no person wants to be is second best to someone they love, especially if they are in a commitment with that person; which in the normal case of having an affair, that is what the spouse becomes. And that is what the spouse made you was second best; you wouldn't want to always be that even if the spouse does remain faithful to you after the affair. The cheating spouse was NOT the victim; the faithful spouse is. It is your decision whether or not to take pity on this. I'd say take these things into consideration when you think about whether or not you can actually make a healthy marriage out of that situation. And if you can I highly suggest marriage counseling. It is a good thing to have someone there helping and listening to your problems then laying them out for you so you can see it clearly and really get a feel for the situation. Anyway, Good Luck :)


Could you really trust your spouse to change if the affair he had would be his last?

When a spouse breaks that bond of trust it will take several months to possibly a year or more (of good behavior) for that cheating husband to earn the trust back from their spouse. The victim of a cheating spouse should never make it easy for the cheater to come back into their lives and continue on as if nothing has happened, but, they should not harp at the cheating spouse or the relationship would wither away. To err is human and sometimes either men or women make a mistake and cheat, but some never cheat again while others may find themselves cheating over and over again. This is why it is important for the victim of cheating to tell their spouse they will only take them back if they agree to go to marriage counseling where the marriage counselor can give them the tools to correct the weak areas in the marriage. If the cheating spouse refuses, then it is better to walk away from the marriage.