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Many times the victims of narcissists will blame themselves for the destruction of their relationship or for somehow being attracted to someone who is so obviously flawed. The simple reality is, even the narcissist can become quite competent at making someone else feel good for a while. Compulsive liars keep doing what they do because they get good at it and keep convincing everyone that they're telling the truth. It's the same with the narcissist. He/she can make their victims feel good about themselves... up to the point when the relationship is more certain, then the narcissist can show his/her true colors.

It's hard to terminate a relationship. Even a destructive relationship like the one you describe. Once you've identified that the problem started with the narcissist, you can start to forgive yourself for reacting to what you've been through, and you can get started moving forward. No, there is nothing wrong with you. But if you keep it up after you've identified the problem, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

Now go get involved with a support group and start repairing your life.

2012-08-08 14:58:21
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