Married men with gay men

Answer 1

A minority of men who are married to women are also attracted to other men who they may deem attractive, enjoy their company, or it could be simply a matter of opportunity presenting itself. For instance, a man away on a business trip randomly meeting another bisexual or gay man staying at the same hotel and the two of them engage in sex and then usually never see each other again. These so-called "straight" or bisexual men often live a double-life with their wives having no idea that their husbands have any sexual inclination towards other men. Most women would not think to question a husband's sexuality if the couple is engaging in straight sex often or occasionally.

Some of these married men state affirmatively that they are bisexual or "experimenting," and not gay, because they enjoy sex with both men and women, thereby they reason that could not possibly be categorized as a gay man. I believe what they say to some extent, and I also believe that many of these men have convinced themselves that their encounters with other men are strictly for sexual release with no emotion involved, which works well for many men because men are much more visually oriented about choosing a partner and the sexual encounter, whereas a women usually wants some kind of emotional connection with a partner before she sleeps with him.

Think about it, when you were in high school or college whose responsibility was it to control how far the petting or sexual exploration went, it was of course the women who dictated the boundaries that a man was told by body language or an outright declaration from the women as to what was acceptable. It is the man that is generally the one who aggressively pushes, sometimes continually, to see if he can perhaps convince the women to allow him to proceed further than she had intended.

With the paragraph above you might think that I have strayed off course from the question, but I am actually laying groundwork for providing a more in-depth understanding about how men interact with other men. I know I have made some generalizations in my writing but as a gay man who is now 40, I can assure you that I have had experience with men who were married or men who simply happen to feel like having sex with another man that night though they may have slept with a women that night before. Complicated, I know.