Should you tell your husband you've been cheating on him if you intend to end the affair?

Absoulutely, you may think he does not know, but trust me he does, even if he just thinks 'somethings not been right', he knows, if you suddenly now give him some attention ect again he will pick up on that and although he will be happy about the attention he will realise that there has been another 'sea-change', this will lead to a confirmation of significant problems, your communication will suffer and the marriage will die a slow painful death, you are kidding your self if you think that you can have an affair withought consequences, no matter the reason for the affair, if you still want to be with your husband then end the affair and be brave enough to come clean, if not then be a decent human being and let him out of his misery, with an explanation so that you don't leave him with emotional scarring, be brave!!!

Answer

if you come clean, you treat him with dignity and respect by giving him the choice to make his own decision of whether he wants to stay with you or not. you run the risk of losing him, but if you don't come clean, you're kind of being manipulative and no one deserves to be manipulated. is he the kind of person who would WANT the truth?

ANSWER!!!!!

I cheated on my husband, back before we were married and I came clean...it was with an ex and it was a one time thing and i left the choice to stay or go in his hands and not ripped it from him as a selfish person would. He chose to stay, he respected and appreciated that i told him the truth and we got married! so sometimes these things work out.

Another thing though is once again i am cheating "well having an affair" but my "mistress" as its called is his brother.

It depends on the situation. that is one circumstance that i have not told him about. choice is yours. make it the way you see fit. personally I believe that "depending on the situation" if you end it, make right with a higher being "if you have one and are not atheist" and you treat your spouse good here on out...then you make peace with yourself and those you have harmed . that it wouldn't matter what you had done, it matters if your still doing it.

God bless.