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While it's normal to have your own "hot buttons", it's not normal to threaten people, no matter who they are. Many of us overreact to criticism when we're feeling anxious or maybe even when everything is going ok. The part that isn't normal is to become threatening.

Perhaps it would be best to learn to deal with your anxiety and aggression. There are quite a few organizations that help people deal with anger, anxiety, aggression and just about anything else that�s out there. BTW, it�s normal to feel that this is only happening to you, that part makes it worse, but just think about it for a minute, since there are all these support groups out there, it must be relatively common.

On the other hand, just because it�s common, it isn�t acceptable. I always tell people that I�m bigger than my wife, stronger, meaner and generally much more of a threat than the small lady who loves me. What would I be proving if I hit her or threatened her? The only thing I�d be proving is that I can�t control myself. I am a member of a species of animals on this planet that somehow thinks it�s smarter than the other animals. The only difference between humans and animals is our intellect. If I can�t use my intellect to control my anger I�m no better than the animals and should be treated the same as a dangerous gorilla. I, on the other hand, chose to treat my wife as though I love her, because I do. I believe that love and aggression are mutually exclusive. I cannot, as an intelligent creature of this planet, elect to harm or even threaten that which I profess to love.

What I�m trying to tell you is, it�s never acceptable to threaten your wife. Yes, she shouldn�t criticize, that too is unacceptable behavior. Perhaps a marriage counselor would be good and you could both work out your differences in a more acceptable venue.


The above answer isn't clearly related to the question. It seems to assume that the questioner thinks he is/may be an abuser, but there's nothing in the question to suggest this. SO, here goes!

Abusers exercise 'unauthorized' power over their victims - unauthorized in the sense that the victim hasn't given consent and that it's not warranted by any exceptional circumstances.

The means that abusers use in order to wield power are varied. They extend from physical violence to frequently humiliating the victim; creating a permanent 'feel bad' atmosphere for the victim. My ex was extremely abusive and used to throw absolutely spectacular temper tantrums that often lasted for 2-4 hours and sometimes started up again the next day. In the early stages of a tantrum she derived much pleasure from them, but after a while these fits of the "shrieks" seemed to take on a life of their own. They often made the kids and me feel ill. If I tried to leave the house she'd block my exit physically; if I pushed past her to get away, she'd claim that I was assaulting her and so on. (Where I live, it is legitimate to use 'reasonable force' to get out of a room, building or confined space if one is being kept there against one's will and without lawful authority).

Violence, amazing temper tantrums, yelling, prolonged screaming, making people feel bad - these are the tactics of young kids. If an adult is in the habit of using them, then something is wrong, to put matters mildly.

What are some actions of an abuser?

Ignoring a person, they shun them, they give others the silent treatment.

The silent treatment i think is the worse one of all, in fact it takes first place with name calling. The abuser gets a thrill of using words, meanings, quotes, (example:

"What you reap is what you sow", something might have occurred with the person years ago, and they put their trust in the abuser not knowing that the abuser would one day throw it in their face, given the right moment of the person, ).

The abuser waits for the right moment to strike, sending the person whom they are abusing to depression and stress, the person in turn becomes an abuser to themselves using drugs and alcohol to combat the abuser who is abusing them.

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โˆ™ 2009-11-25 12:36:45
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Q: What are some actions of an abuser?
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How does alcohol abuse affect families?

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An abuser is someone who attacks people with words, violence, or neglection. An abuser is also some who uses something axcessively or is addicted to something.

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Animal Abuser or Animal Cruelty Abuser

Is a sexual abuser always a sexual abuser?

Yes they are habitual sex abusers, some say that it is their minds that are thinking and making them so violent in society.

Was David Pelzer a child abuser?

No he is not a child abuser.

If someone is an abuser and wants to stop what steps should he take?

The first - crucial - steps are to acknowledge that he is abuser and seek help. Abusers are usually in denial: If the abuser is also a narcissist (suffers from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder - NPD), this may be of some assistance:

Person who catches children for some evil work?

Kidnapper, child abuser

When was Love Your Abuser created?

Love Your Abuser was created on 2007-01-30.

What rhymes with user?

Some words that rhyme with "user" are: loser, cruiser, bruiser, and abuser.

Are abusers aware of their behavior?

Some of them are not aware of their behavior at all. Still some are. If you are a victim of abuse you can share your feelings with your abuser when the abuse subside, but if they feel as though they arn't at fault, they won't change. The abuser would have to want to change their abusive behavior.

Why would as narcissist marry a narcissist?

This is not only very unlikely, but could have some very violent results. Abusers usually stay away from other abusers, as they are difficult to control. The abuser may accuse the victim of being the abuser, but this is not the case. I will assume that your diagnosis is current, however, for this question. An abuser would marry another abuser due to a history of abuse in childhood. The initial abuser would be very confused. Having grown up in an abusive environment, he has witnessed both the victim and the abuser. The child usually grows up to become one of these two options. In this case, it appears that the child grew up to become both. If this is the case, the abuser will be very confused and will probably have a split personality in which he either plays the role of the abuser or the victim. The problem will come when both abusers want to play the 'abuser' role, and neither feels like playing victim. This could become very dangerous.

How What if your ex husband abuser get remarried and look not abuser to new wife?

Give him time. He will.

Can there be true love in an abusive relationship?

No. absolutely not. If you are being abused the person who is abusing you does not truly love you. the Abuser makes you feel responsible for his/her actions. therefore making you believe you are in love with that person.

When was Love Your Abuser Remixed created?

Love Your Abuser Remixed was created on 2008-09-23.

What are the evils of the computer?

The computer in and of itself is not evil, it is an inanimate object. The user is the abuser and it is the abuser who causes the evil.

Will an abuser repeat abuse with others?

it is mostly true even tho some guys arnt but idk

What actors and actresses appeared in Abuser - 2009?

The cast of Abuser - 2009 includes: Sergio Montoya Gino Montoya

What kinds of things can family do to help a substance abuser become clean?

The best thing that family can do for a substance abuser is stage an intervention. Once that intervention has been staged, present the abuser with the opportunity to go to rehab.

Does substance abuse intervention increase the abuser's odds of staying clean?

Yes, it does. In all cases, the substance abuse intervention is conducted to inform the abuser of the danger and guide the abuser out of whatever form of substance abuse he/she is using. This on a whole gives the abuser moral and medical support, increasing the odds of staying clean.

Are actions physical?

Yes in some ways they are. For example: hitting is an actions and is physical.

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The boston tea party were one of their actions

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I don't think Bing Crosby is a child abuser because he seems quite nice!

Can you leave the country to get away from your abuser with your child?

Yes its very legal some of my friends and there mums have ran away

How exactly can a victim get counseling if she is still living with her abuser and is afraid that he will sabotage her healing process by using her therapy against her?

I'm a qualified counsellor. Your therapist can NOT use your private information and give it to your abuser. Everything you say to your counsellor is 100 percent private and confidential. Counselling may be of some help to you but you will not be happy and settled untilyour abuser is out of your life. If your abuser is still living with you then counselling wont make much of a difference. See your doctor and speak to him about the abuse you're suffering and your doctor will arrange something for you.