Christianity
Islam
Interfaith Marriage

What are the chances of a Christian and Muslim love relationship working if the Muslim man will not tell his family?

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2015-11-04 22:28:16
2015-11-04 22:28:16

Some Muslim men enter into casual relationships with Christian girls, with no intention of marrying. They enjoy the opportunity for a sexual relationship, but still want to marry a virgin Muslim girl, when they are ready for marriage. Because in these cases there is no intention of marriage, he is less likely to tell his family about the Christian girl.
In other cases, the Muslim man may be willing to marry the Christian but knows that his parents would set out to block the marriage because of quite substantial cultural differences. The film Alex and Eve, although in this case about a Christian man who marries a Muslim girl, portrays some of the difficulties faced in an interfaith marriage.

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2015-11-04 22:23:07
2015-11-04 22:23:07

The relationship would start out on a very rocky road and the chances of it getting REALLY ugly are 100%. If he doesn't live in his country and lives in the States you may stand a chance, but if his parents are in the States then that fear will eat away at your relationship.

I suggest if his parents live in the States, then have him introduce you to them. Start out slow and easy and they may just accept you. My Asian girlfriend married our best friend and her family was against it and wanted her to stay with her own race. Slowly her boyfriend won them over, they were married and have been married for 15 years. He couldn't have asked for better in-laws.

Remember ... slow and easy and meet those parents if you can.

Culture is Another Factor

According to Islamic tradition, people of the Christian and Jewish faiths are considered "People of the Book." Ultimately meaning that it is entirely permissible for a Muslim male to marry a Christian female. Theoretically speaking, your particular religious creed should not be a detrimental factor in your relationship.

What needs to be considered, however, is the native culture and nationality of the respective Muslim male. Not all Muslims are Arabs and most certainly not all Arabs are Muslim. Traditional Arab culture is molded by a highly patriarchal society, where the family, particularly the elder males, hold great influence on familial decisions of the younger generations. With that said, because his family is not aware of his premarital relationship, it is indicative of several possibilities: 1) Because it is not culturally permissible to "date" due to the traditional method of family arranged marriages and the taboo nature of premarital relationships in the Middle East, he quite possibly might feel angst about being scolded by his family and the community. However, it now appears to be less culturally frowned upon when boys engage in premarital relationships as compared to several decades past, a double standard if I may so add. 2) It would be best if things were made clear about your expectation of the relationship's future because it could mean he does not wish to marry at this point in time. 3) It could be none of the above or an amalgamation of issues. But consider this, because of the family's strong significance in Arab culture, if he truly wishes to marry or stay in a long relationship with you, then he would tell his family. Likewise, I find other ethnic groups smilarly have highly structured familial relations (subject to varying degress), such as South Asian (Pakistani and Indian), Afghani, and traditional East and Southeast Asian families.

I wish you good luck because just like in any other relationship, minus the obvious religious and cultural differences, obstacles will arise and it may or may not work out in the end.

P.S. I am a doctorate candidate studying cultural Anthropology with a specialization in the Middle East, and I wish to reassert that we are all of the human race. "Race" is a scientific term used for taxonomic purposes and should be recognized as that. The differences we speak of are cultural, not racial. There are no racial differences between African-Americans, Asians, or Caucasians. Cultural and physical, yes, but much deeper than that, definitely not. Help break down barriers by valuing people for their integrity and character and not by their supposed "race."

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