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Barbie That was an excellent idea. You gave me a good laugh at all the sneaky little ideas you came up with for this lady. Thanks Marcy Men of 40+ go through "andropause" a milder case of women's menopause. It can leave them questioning themselves as to what they wants out of life and that they have made mistakes in the past, aren't where they want to be at the present time (that includes work) and want to know they can attract younger women (women can also go through this.) At this particular time in their lives they can be moody, quiet, even have hot flashes (believe it or not.) Your husband could be going through this. There is help from your family doctor so, if you can get your husband to your family doctor it's possible to be checked for his testosterone levels. This happened to my brother, he was put on testosterone for a short period of time and felt much better. I wouldn't suggest you just give up at this point. It sounds like you've had problems in your marriage for awhile and both of you have just ignored them or perhaps didn't know how to deal with them. Try sitting down with your husband and asking him first how he feels and why. He may not even know. Tell him about your feelings and see if you can't work together on this. See if he'd consider marriage counseling. The fact he wants to pay all bills off and fix things around the house means he cares enough about you to be sure everything is in good shape, and, it can also mean he's frustrated, doesn't know where to turn or why he feels the way he does and he may never leave. If he refuses, then it's best to let him go and as they say, "absence can make the heart grow fonder. Sometimes we just never know how good we have it until we leave and find out the hard way. If you can get him to go for counseling that is your best bet, but if not, try communicating more and perhaps going out together a little more and surround yourself with some friends. Sometimes being around other friends can slip things into perspective. Good luck Marcy *First of all, You need to pack his things today and tell him you would like him to leave. Don't wait till bills and home maintenance is done. You have to turn the tables around on him. Don't make him in control of your life and marriage. Make sure you look really hot when you give him his things, and don't accept any calls for a while, leave the answering machine on. Let this go on for a while. Next step is for you to make an appointment with a therapist and get some individual counselling - it will help. Whatever you do, during this time, you have to take care of yourself first - exercise, eat well, socialize with lots of people, go out, shop, get your hair done. Get a journal and write down how you are feeling everyday. The first few weeks will be horrible, but a therapist will help alot and so will family and friends. You need to talk it out. It is not your fault. Your husband is going through midlife crisis and needs time alone. You give it to him without a fight. When your husband realizes that you are doing great and are out having fun with friends, he will probable start to miss you again.. That's just what your husband is craving right now - some spark, fireworks, anything that will get his heart racing again. You are a woman, don't forget that - look gorgeous everytime - the word will get out. Don't give in to him too easy if he wants you back - cuz he has to agree to go for some counselling. You need to change any behaviour that got you in this situation in the first place before you have a chance at working out. Good luck

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โˆ™ 2006-05-04 09:25:46
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Q: What can you do if your husband of 20 years said he likes you but doesn't love you and as soon as bills are caught up and maintenance around your house is done he will then move out?
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