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Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

What do individuals experience as physical abuse from a spouse or a partner?

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Answered 2006-12-29 16:36:04

Physical abuse can be in the form of anything from throwing something (at you or not), hitting things (like walls, etc), to hitting, slapping, shoving, or grabbing you. Anything that is designed to control, frighten, or injure you that is physical in nature is included. It often escalates from emotional abuse, which ranges from witholding affection and the "silent treatment", to insulting you, using personal information to hurt you, guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, intimidation (threats to leave you, etc) and so on. Sometimes it can escalate to very serious injury or death. At a minimum it damages your self-esteem and causes depression. Any form of abuse can have a traumatic effect and it is very important to get out of the relationship and seek counseling. People who abuse others have very serious control issues, meaning they want to control others and choose to exhibit little or no control over their own behavior. Many times, substance abuse is involved. The main thing to remember is, it is not your fault. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter who you are, the other person will abuse you and you could be the most perfect person in the world and it will make no difference. Because it is his/her problem. You cannot fix it. You cannot change it. Therapy will help you and it will only help the abuser if he/she wants to change, which unfortunately is unlikely because this behavior is learned at an early age, either by the abuser being abused or seeing abuse in the home by parents towards one another. I work with people every day who are abused and this is a very painful experience that can lead to major mental health issues such as suicide, depression, and drug/alcohol addiction. They experience mental anguish, emotional stress and physical scars. Run dont walk from this relationship or get the abuser help. If there are children involved move quickly, the boys may grow up to be abusers and the girls will have low self esteem if you stay and they see you accept this kind of behavior.

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