What do you do if your abuser accuses you of being abusive because you once yelled at him and cursed him out when he was being abusive?

Abusers are all about control and you took a stand against him, which must have shocked him out of his socks literally. It sounds like it is more verbal abuse because he would have nailed you to the wall if it was physical abuse. I'm not saying your husband isn't a verbal abuser, but if two people are arguing for certain reasons or their marriage is falling apart, hurtful words can be said by both and that doesn't necessarily mean either of you are abusers. If someone is constantly at you and putting you down every chance they get and hurting you over and over again by these words then it is abuse. If you stay with an verbal abuser you will only end up being one yourself. If you love your husband give him a choice to seek out psychological counselling and it wouldn't hurt you to go either so you know how to control your own temper in these situations. If he refuses then I would leave. Things will just get worse. Good luck Marcy He is just using you yelling at him as another power tactic to bring you down so you will feel bad. He is using it as an opportunity to show himself ans his denial and others he has fooled that your the one with the problem. Beleive me i went through this