If the accounts are joint he cannot legally "control" the use of them. He can perhaps take the checkbook and debit cards, but it is a simple matter for the spouse to have them replaced so she has access to the monies. A joint account belongs to each account holder according to state laws and banking regulations. By law marital accounts belong to each spouse equally as long as they remain married, regardless of what amounts each contributes to it or does not contribute at all.
Both have advantages, depending on what you want to do. An accounts package can only do accounts, whereas a spreadsheet can do many kinds of things. An accounts package is specifically designed to do accounts, making it easier to set them up, whereas with a spreadsheet you would have to work out all the formulas yourself.
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