What is the correct or better way to say We welcome any insight you want to share with us in an effort to improve the claims process.?

Answer 1

The sentence, "We welcome any insight you want to share with us in an effort to improve the claims process" is what English professors call "wordy". That sentence has 18 words. Let's see how to tighten it.

Think of the points you want to communicate.

• encourage or welcome
• to share
• insights
• with you
• to improve
• the claims' process

Therefore, "you want to share with us in an effort" is a wordy, unneeded section.

"In an effort to" is not needed. If you want ideas, it implies you WILL do something, not just make "an effort to" do it. Even if you don't use the ideas, you've already made "an effort to" with asking for ideas. So you don't need to say what can be assumed (you want my ideas to improve the claims process).

Here are other ways to write the same thing:

We encourage you to share your insights about how we can improve the claims' process.

(better but "we welcome you" often sounds fake in business) We welcome your ideas about how we can improve the claims' process.

(or) Please send your ideas about how we can improve the claims' process.

(or) We want your ideas about how we can improve the claims' process.

Wordy sentences never have just one better way to write the same thing. Often, you can revise and say the same thing 4 or 5 ways.

Watch word counts and long, wordy sections. The words "of" and "by" often give clues to wordy parts.