What is the quickest easiest way to go about marrying a US citizen and become eligible to work in the US?

There is no "quick way".

The action of a foreign national marrying a US citizen when the only intent is to gain legal status in the US is a violation of federal law and is punishable by imprisonment, large monetary fines and permanent deportation.

The USCIS has strict criteria for investigating suspected cases and due to the overall atmosphere towards foreign nationals the investigation of such is extensive. In other words they always find the truth and it does not take much evidence for the foreign national and the US citizen spouse to be charged with a criminal felony.