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What might be the problem if your fiance has always been antisocial around your family yet he says he likes them?

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November 30, 2005 7:03PM

You could be expecting too much from him. Some people are out-going and a ball of fire, while others (such as your boyfriend) could be shy or simply quiet and reserved. This doesn't mean he doesn't like the people around him. Facing parents can be quite the daunting task for some young men. He may be walking on egg shells. Observe how your parents react to him. If they are not friendly or don't feel he is good enough for you he could be feeling the pinch. You aren't asking him the right questions. It's important to communicate. Go for a walk with him and simply say, "I can understand how awkward it can be for you at times around my parents. If you like them then why are you so quiet around them?" If you know in your heart this guy doesn't treat you right and your parents have talked to you about him, I'd listen to your parents or bounce the thought off a good friend. Marriage is for a lifetime, so you need someone you can communicate well with, that you feel comfortable around and that you know is just a plain nice guy. If he is all these things then just give it all time and the more he gets to know your parents the better things will become. Look up antisocial... It is a personality disorder and does not mean that somebody who does not want to socialize. In fact, most people with antisocial personality disorder are party animals. But to answer your question, maybe he is nervous. Maybe he thinks they will be critical of him.