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What should you do if you're 17 and love to wear women's clothing and you can't fit into mom's clothes anymore and you told her how you like to dress and she was not happy?

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September 13, 2011 1:05PM

Thank you to the last poster for adding that very important information. I was not aware of this group. One learns something every day.

I have gay friends and when I was single I really enjoyed going out with a gay male friend of mine at least twice a month on a Saturday night. You are right ... often men have fantastic taste in women's clothing, make-up and hairstyles and my friend sure did. I must also add that going out with my gay friend was the most fun I ever had. He loved to dance and we'd go to clubs. We just had a blast and I didn't have to worry about him coming onto me all the time. It was a great breather, and it also left me with some heart-warming memories.

Marcy

I would suggest you sit down with your mother and ask her if you can get some therapy. You need help to decide who you are and what you want to be in the future. Do you have tendencies towards being gay or do you feel your personality is in the wrong body? If you feel you slide towards wanting to be a woman then you need professional help to get you through this emotional transition and your mother needs therapy to try to cope with this. It's difficult for straight people to understand men dressing up in women's clothing or women dressing like men. The important thing is, you have to remain true to yourself. It's also important to know that cross-dressing doesn't mean you are gay!

Have that talk with your mom and get some professional help with this. You are confused right now and your mother is upset (and you can't blame her for that) and hopefully once the shock has worn off she'll be more supportive in your endeavors.

Good luckMarcy

Answer

I agree with the first answer; crossdressing (transvestism) does not define a persons sexuality. (transvestism means when you wear clothing appropriate forthe opposite sex; men or women) Many adults practice transvestism in private and also go in public and "pass" as the opposite sex. YOU have to decide how you feel. As answer #1 suggested, if you feel as you may be transgendered, meaning that you feel you were "born in the wrong body" and feel like or want to be, a female, then you really should get some therapy; (many people feel it's to "expensive" but low income folks can get assistance). HOWEVER, if crossdressing is a "fetish", where you feel "stimulated" or aroused, and you are secure sexually with being a boy, then it really isn't the end of the world. You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mom, and explain how you feel. Then you should go to the library or Google on the Web, and get some information on the above terms; you can gain a lot of insight. HOPE THIS HELPS!

Answer

The solution is talking. Be honest and considerate. Although your mom may not be happy about it, talk together and establish some good rules you can BOTH live with. For instance, will she allow you to dress up at home...perhaps at some certain time each week. Will she allow you to own some clothes and where will they be kept. If you are lucky, she may even help you once she has some time to think about it, and understand a bit better. I'm sure she would rather help you dress up at home than participate in risky behaviour outside the home to accomodate your crossdressing. Maybe she will put her foot down and just not allow it, but I doubt it....she loves you. Don't sneak, Don't lie about it. Those things are much worse. Talk. Give her time. She might just surprise you. Suggest thrift shops. Show your mom some respect and she might just turn out to be the best mom in the whole wide world.

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You don't need therapy. You are not crazy. As much as 50% of males try crossdressing at some point in their lives. Have fun with it, life's too short.

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For the last poster. No one said that this person who cross-dressed was crazy, but men who cross-dress are not totally comfortable with it because they seem to feel there is something wrong with them or they are on the border of becoming gay and it can cause many long and sleepless nights. That's why therapy is so important. If someone just likes women's clothing and wants to dress up in private that is their business. If they feel they are possibly in the wrong gender of body then they need professional help to decide who they should be and that doesn't mean if it's a male they shouldn't become female.

Marcy

Marcy i have to agree with you on this , It doesnt mean he is gay or even bi , In some cases it could be a plus to have a son who doesnt mind shopping , He may even have a good fashion sense about things . I will also recommend a group called Tri-ess . They are about things of this nature and have the best experience in dealing with crossdressing as they are a support group and there are chapters all over the country . But by all means let your mother have time to think and sort things through . Dont push it. But do tell her how you feel . cause right now she may feel she has failed in rasisng you properly which isn't the case . If you talk things through with her she will probably find she raised you better than she thought , You havre to keep in mind that boys are generally taught to hold things in and not talk about them where girls talk about them and get on with their lives . But do get in touch with Tri-ess as they could help you in this situation . Just do an internet search for them . The reason I mention this group is because they have therapist who are familiar with this field and sometimes going to other therepist who don't and are prejudiced will get you in worse shape .

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well i can see why she may be angry as its her clothes and stuff but many of want to be. You need to sit down with her and tell her that it is natural and it doesnt mean that ur gay. At least you have told her and she hast to realise that and it doesn't make you gay