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What should you do if you're dating a married man and he keeps saying he's going to leave his wife and he doesn't sleep in the same bed with her but you don't believe him anymore?

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January 20, 2006 3:57PM

Most married men are total con artists and here is why: If a man gets a divorce 1/2 of what he owns (house, cars, pension plan, etc.) are hers! He will have to pay child support if there are children. He could have a business and usually businessmen put some of their company assets into their wive's names. It's complicated. He could lose a lot. Also, there are married men out there that don't want to try in their marriages, have a problem with growing older and want to date a younger woman, but still maintain their married life and I do believe this is what your guy is doing. Kick this guy to the curb! You're instincts are right on! Go out and find either a divorced or single guy. You deserve better. I never dated a married man for one reason only .... I wouldn't want to be the wife! You see, if he'd cheat on his wife, never had the guts to get an out-right divorce, then why on earth would I want a man that couldn't take responsibility for his own actions and his own life. I would never want to be the cause of a couple breaking up or breaking up a family. It never works! Good luck Marcy I am going through the same thing. When we met, he had separated from his wife. He told me he was married, but that the marriage was over. Which it was. We were together for 4 months, however, within that time, his wife grew increasingly unstable. She tried to commit suicide twice. Rang him up each time and told him. It was understandably awful. So he then went back. He couldn't cope with the guilt. So now he has been back for 6 months, he contacts me all the time and says he is going to leave her when she is stronger. That the marriage fell apart a long time ago. He too says he is not sleeping in the same bed. But in the spare room. How unhappy he is, how his wife is just happy he is there. As you know, we ladies will believe anything we want to.. We are not having a sexual affair and haven't had since he went back. I don't know if an emotional affair is just as bad. I don't feel proud of myself by continuing to listen to him and seeing him, we meet occasionally, talk, go out. Kiss & cuddle, hold hands. I still feel like a mistress even though we don't have sex and I hate that.. This has been going on as I say for over 6 months. I have lost 2 stone in weight and am in pieces over this. However, it seems to me that after 6 months, that is enough time to have as he says "shown her that their being together doesn't work, that she will be better off without him, and in turn be stronger". So, in answer to your question - I guess, you will never know. NO one knows what goes on behind closed doors. Myself, well, I have had enough. We are meeting tomorrow and I am going to tell him that this has to end, we have done this many times, but never followed through. We can't seem to stop getting in contact and that is fair on no one. If he was going to leave he would have by now. So my conclusion is that he has been stringing me along, just in case.. So, if you take my advice, you should do as I am doing. Once the trust has gone - you know it's over. I hope you can do this cos I have had a nightmare time. I wish you the best of luck.