First you need to grow up and learn to commit. Your children need the stability of having their father at home and a home where they can feel safe. Occasional thoughts about "what could have been" are quite normal. In fact most of us do it. Just don't obsess about it. The above is good advice. It's normal when you have been married, looking after children and not having the freedom you once had to look back on old flames or longing for that freedom again. Many people go through this, but what the poster said above is the best advice you could get and if you don't heed it you could ruin your marriage, lose a good husband and possibly lose your children. Is it worth it? I believe in solutions to problems so why not take the energy from always thinking about an old boyfriend and sit down with your husband and plan a mini vacation away together and see if your parents or good friends would take the children for a weekend. Marriage isn't easy and it's most important to make person time for you and your spouse.