What should you do if you feel scared and threatened by your boyfriend who keeps calling you vulgar names and curses you if you talk to your friends even though you love him?

Answer 1

From what you say, it's obvious that you're being abused by your boyfriend, and I don't see how it can develop into a happy, let alone loving, relationship. A worthwhile boyfriend would be **ashamed** to have a girlfriend who is scared of him. Have nothing more to do with him, and get right out of his way! It will take you a while to get over this nasty experience, and I hope that in the longer run you find a boyfriend with whom you can be relaxed and happy. You may well need to be patient, but there's no worthwhile future in a relationship beset by fear. ==What's love got to do with it?== Hon, you simply don't know what love is. This guy has coerced you into thinking you need him and thus you confuse it with love. You are trying hard to please him because he makes you think you are doing everything wrong. Not true! Love isn't about being fearful of your mate or that you should feel like you have to walk on egg shells around them or wondering when the next outburst of anger is going to occur. He has not only taken your dignity away, but also your independence. Abusers are crafty and they break the spirit of their victims first. Yes, you are a victim of abuse!!!! You absolutely need to get away from this guy, but I know it's not that easy because some abusive men will track their g/f or wife down. Abusers are about control and they love total control in their environment. Before you leave him seek help by a trusted friend and go to either "Mental Health" or an "Abused Women's Center" in your area. There are "safe houses" for young women such as yourself. You will be well protected and your b/f will not be able to hunt you down. While in the "safe house" there are programs you can take to help you through this transition and make you realize that you are badly abused and that this is not love at all. From there they will help you in other ways such as furthering your education or getting a job. I think you are a very strong young woman or you wouldn't have posted, so stop thinking you love this guy (you are really just depending on him and confused as to how to handle this situation) and seek that help and get out of there! Abusive tendencies that are this bad such as in your b/f can be extremely dangerous, so move now and get that help! Your love for him is not going to be reciprocated...and so it is not something that you can "make" happen by creating the conditions where you think it will. For these people, even if you are doing things perfectly it will not be enough. It is hard to live with this and hard to move on, but you will be better off leaving.