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What should you do if you found out your husband of 23 years has been having an 8-year affair but he ended it to save your marriage and then a month later slept with another woman?

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2005-11-25 00:59:40
2005-11-25 00:59:40

It sounds like you need to slow down and start seeing the signs of cheating that always were there. You were either too busy to catch these signs or you were in denial. No, he didn't leave the other women to save your marriage ... he either grew tired of her or she grew tired of him. He's a cheater, always will be and you need to face it. Kick this guy to the curb. The next time he comes home have his bags packed and kick his cheating butt out that door. If he refuses to go, then see your lawyer and file for divorce. Half of everything he owns (including his pension, etc.) belongs to you. We can all make mistakes and cheating can be one of them and some people do it once and learn from it and go back to their mates. Your husband is not one of these people and he's always going to be a cheater. What he is saying to you is, "I don't care about your feelings or that we have had 23 years of marriage. I'm a spoiled child and I want what I want and I don't give a damn what you want!" Men do go through what they use to nicely refrain to as "Midlife Crisis" but have since found out it's just plain old Male Menopause. Some men will grow a little weary, less energetic, a little depression, mood swings, while other men are fearful of growing older (like some women) and they will have flings with younger women to prove to themselves that they are still attractive. They need to prove their manhood. They are idiots, because 98% of these women will dump these guys and it isn't his looks they are after. It's gifts, money and anything else they can get out of him. The other 2% may honestly love each other. Get your pride back, stand straight and tall and kick his keister right out that door. You deserve better! I kicked my ex husband out the door and if I hadn't done that I wouldn't have met and married a wonderful guy and we've been married 33 years. Good luck hon Marcy

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if he is accusing you of having an affair, when you are not.

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You can save your marriage in many ways. Take him for dates, have intercourse etc. This will make him fall for you again.

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None. Having an affair is not a criminal matter for her. I don't know what country you live in, but maybe your husband is guilty of some adultery crime.

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No, it is not a mistake to tell the husband his wife was having an affair with your husband. However, some wives can be in denial and they may not believe their husband is cheating, but most do.

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Confront him/her and tell the truth, if you are or aren't having a(n) affair with her boyfried/husband/fiance.

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The question shouldn't be 'is it wise to tell my husband I'm having an affair,' but why are you having the affair? If life is too intolerable for you living with your husband then have the guts to face it and not hurt his feelings by being irresponsible and selfish by hurting his feelings because one day he will find out. Once you have broken that bond of trust then in many cases there is no salvaging the marriage. Put yourself in his shoes. You are having an affair because something is missing in your marriage and neither you or your husband appear to have made much of an effort to communicate better or get marriage counseling. Wives or husbands can always go for separation and strike out on their own to clear their minds as to what they really do want in life. By having this affair you are not going to fill the hole you feel in yourself and it could lead to other affairs. It is up to you to decide if you continue the affair behind your husband's back, but if you do be prepared for the reality you could be losing someone very precious in your life.

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The key to most problems is good communication skills. Be absolutely sure that your husband is even in an emotional affair. It is sometimes common when a husband is having marriage problems that they may seek out either a female coworker or some other female they know. You need to sit down with your husband in private (no children around if you have children) or go for a walk just the two of you and without accusations ask your husband if he is unhappy in the marriage. If he does not respond and you know for sure he is having an emotional affair then let him know it and that you are not going to stand by and enable his behavior. You could both go to marriage counseling where you will gain the tools to deal with marriage problems. If you husband is not willing to try in the marriage and as much as it may break you heart tell him you are not putting up with his emotional affair (leaving you out) and you will go for a separation to give both of you some space to figure out what you are going to do in the marriage.

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Because (a) they were having an affair and they broke up, so she wants to spoil your marriage, or (b) because she has a grudge against him, e.g. at work

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There are many marriages that survive a spouse having an affair. If the person having the affair does so out of character then these are the ones that may heal their marriage problems and live with their mate to a ripe old age. If a person having an affair that has had one or more before this certainly does mean he/she will be dealing with the death of a marriage.

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No she is not having an affair. The person she has been calling is actually her husband Ricky. They are using role play.

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ANSWER: Even if your husband is an affair material, that will not be his legit reason why he is having an affair. It can't be that he is not getting his needs at home, it will explain why he ask you to marry him if he will betrayed you.

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She did have an affair on her now ex-husband, Dean Sheremet and is currently married to the guy she had an affair with, Eddie Cibrian. Whether she is having an affair on Mr. Cibrian is currently unknown.

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Well it depends. If the husband and wife are married and another man comes and has an affair with the wife, than he can sue him. Only if the woman does not like the man. If she does then she the man can't, the wife and husband simply get a divorce.

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When marriage life is dull, and there is no joy for instance you might dream that you have an affair.

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You will have to think very clearly about telling your husband about having an emotional affair. Most men do not believe a woman can have an emotional affair and not have a sexual relationship. There is a high possibility that your husband may not believe that when you had an affair there was no sex involved although this is highly possible, but not in his mind. What you can do is learn good communication skills and you must have had your reasons (that clouded your judgment) to have an affair and you need to deal with these problems. Take time to think why you felt the need to have an emotional affair in the first place and then sit down with your husband and express why you are unhappy in the marriage and perhaps seek Marriage Counseling or the two of you could make a better effort with each other to make your marriage a more solid one. Once you have broken that bond of trust with your spouse it is difficult to gain their trust back.

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The question is do you really want to know the intimate details of the afair? If you are suspecting your husband is having an affair there are obviously problems in your marriage. Where do you go from here? Depending on what state you live in, proof of an affair may not do anything, but drive you crazy. I am going through a divorce right now and the hardest part is watching him parade his girlfriend around. I never had him investigated, instead I spent the money on a good divorce attorney. You need to decide for yourself if your marriage is over and if it is, where do you go from here. Personally, I do not see the need to injure yourself and your self esteem anymore, but having proof of the affair.

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ANSWER:There no such things as suing another woman because your husband is having an affair with her. Your best solution is your husband, he is the one that pursue this woman. Sorry love!

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Each individual woman is different when it comes to forgiving her husband for having an affair and it is a personal decision by that woman. Once that bond of trust is broken it is difficult for the wife to trust her husband and generally that mistrust turns into questioning the husband if he should be late coming home to where he is going and eventually some men will simply leave the marriage on that basis. Not only that, but the wife feels demeaned or sometimes unattractive because she can subconsciously feel she is unattractive or her husband wouldn't have found it necessary to have an affair. Of course is most cases this is not true and the husband would cheat no matter how attractive his wife is. If your husband has had more than one affair before it is more than likely he will have another one. If this is the first affair he has had then humans make mistakes and it is worth trying to resolve problems in your marriage by seeking out a good marriage counselor, but only if your husband is willing. If your husband refuses to get marriage counseling or does not want to give up the woman he has had the affair with or feels threatened by you to walk away from the affair then no, it is not wise to stay in such an unsettled and toxic marriage for the sake of the children. If you and your husband decide to dissolve the marriage then try to do it on a friendly basis for the sake of the children as children often blame themselves for their parents divorcing. Make sure you try to appear to be friends in front of the children and agree that your husband pays child support and has joint custody of his children so the children can have both parents in their lives. If you do not want to be quite so drastic as to apply for divorce you could try separating for awhile to see if you and your husband cannot work things out, but be sure the children get to see him or even stay with this father on weekends and some holidays.

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When your husband has an affair and apologizes this is not good enough to fully trust him because he decided on his own to break that bond of trust you both once had for each other by having the affair. Make him earn your trust back and if he really loves you and is not a man that has had more than one affair then seek marriage counseling to help give you the tools to make your marriage stronger.

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Common-law marriage is much the same as a marriage so you should see a lawyer and if you feel you have had enough of your mate having an affair file with the lawyer to have her removed from the residence.

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husband is having an affair and giving her money. Can I make him move out of the house?


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