First, it won't kill you. Jealousy is ugly and uncomfortable, but it's not usually fatal, unless it impels you to do violent or sick things, which could result in an escalation of bad behavior that leads to something terrible. Second, you really are caught on the horns of a dilemma and have some real ethical issues to resolve. On the one hand, you no longer wish to be in an exclusive relationship with boyfriend and, apparently, wish to date other people. On the other hand, you are not comfortable with HIS being able to have the same freedom to date others. Nice. (I am trying with all my might not to make a "what's-sauce-for-the-goose-is-gravy-for-the-gander comment.) The apparent double standard is not only intrinsically illogical, it is selfish. Having said that, you simply must make a decision, one way or the other. Obviously, you can't have it both ways. Which situation is less likely to make you unhappy, staying in an exclusive arrangement with boyfriend and not dating other guys, or knowing that he's sleeping with other girls and not you? No one can answer that for you.