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The best you can do is get her aside when there is no one around and tell her that if she ever needs to talk to someone you are there because you care for her. NEVER let her abusive partner see you together because you will only make more trouble for her. Other than what I have suggested you can't do a thing, and it's up to her to get herself out of this relationship. Believe it or not there are some women that like to be controlled, and if a good friend comes to them and expresses their concerns as to how they are treated by their partner they will either look at you with a "ho hum attitude like they've been struck by a cattle prod" or they'll say, "But I love him!" I have had to deal with this same problem with 3 of my girlfriends, and it always turns out that I was the bad guy. For some reason in their twisted reasoning of a good relationship they feel that the abuser (mental or physical or both) loves them because they go to the trouble with their constant attention on the abused. Hard to believe, but it's the truth. Stats also show (and I help abused women) that a high percentage of them are in a set pattern and they will either go back to their abuser or, if they manage to get away from their abuser they will seek out the same type of man and put up with more abuse. In some cases they manage to find a wonderful and caring man, yet will grow bored with him and want to go back to the abused man! They are not stupid women, but brain-washed women. They know no other way and have not been treated with the dignity and respect they so deserve so they expect nothing more in their lives. Other women in abusive relationships are terrified and don't quite know how to get out of the relationship. They fear dragging their family and friends into the problem because 9 changes out of the 10 the abuser has instilled fear in their victim that if they talk about what is going on behind closed doors they will do something terrible to the family or friend(s). The victim believes this and doesn't realize most of us can look after ourselves. Especially when young, abusers are resentful, controlling, quick to anger, so if you were to interfere in this problem, he would never have the guts to face you one-on-one, but one night you just might end up facing a gang of his buddies. The excuse for beating you half senseless or worse would be "he's trying to steal my girl!" Be careful! I suggest you find out the phone # and address of your local "Abused Women's Center" or at least the phone # of "Mental Health" in your area (they will lead this young woman in the right direction) to help her ONLY IF SHE WANTS THE HELP. Abused Women's Centers usually coincide with the police in the area, they protect the woman and put her in a "safe house" and give her legal counsel as well as professional counselling. Even if this young woman does get away from her abuser it will take a bit for her mind and perhaps her body to heal. If you love her then it's going to be a long waiting game. I truly wish you luck and thank you for caring for someone such as this young woman. She's lucky and I hope she realizes it. God Bless Marcy

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โˆ™ 2005-09-23 18:53:37
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Q: What should you do if you love a girl who is in a relationship with an abusive an over-possessive guy?
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Related questions

Is your boyfriend abusive?

Many BFs, or boyfriends, are not abusive. If a boyfriend is abusive, the girl should leave the relationship and file charges. Do not keep going back to an abuser.


Is there a girl who has been in a teen dating violence?

I have never been in an abusive relationship but you should get rid of whoever is hurting you, and if he continues, tell someone about it.


When a abusive girl with baggage walks away from a relationship will she regret it and miss you as much as you miss her?

Probably not. Depends on the girl.


Type of relationship that can become abusive?

I am sure there are lots of ways a normal relationship can become abusive but there is one that sticks in my mind: A serious relationship. It is because if you are mainly the girl in a relationship (it is mostly the girl playing the victim and the guy playing the abuser) you are more into love than he is so therefore you push yourself into that serious relationship. As he knows you pushed yourself into the relationship he thinks he can control you now and since he knows it is serious he thinks that you won't run away because you love him.


Why do girls' boyfriends get jealous?

well this one is a toughy. They love that is why. maybe because they r insecure about their relationship, thinking htat their girfriends will throw them over for the next guy maybe they dont have that much confidence in the girl to stay faithful and maybe they r plain overpossessive and there are many more reasons


Do guys like a rich a girl or else a poor?

It shouldn't matter. If he is picky with how rich the girl is, that'd be an abusive relationship. Just make sure the boy doesn't have to pay for everything for every date.


When should you start to have a serious relationship with a girl?

when you are both ready


What if a boy loves a girl and that girl has a boyfriend?

He should leave them alone ! Their relationship is none of his business !


How do you dominate a girl in the relationship?

In a healthy relationship, each person is equal to the other and has the same rights and responsibilities. There should be no domination of anyone in a relationship.


Would a guy leave a scratch mark on a girl to be territorial?

No. Just maybe abusive. Love should not hurt... or leave marks!


Should a boy love a girl more then she loves him?

It depends on the relationship


How do you get more respect from your girlfriend?

First, respect her, and show by example. Ask for her respect. If she cannot be respectful, it will be a bad relationship. She needs to learn respect. Read up on abusive and healthy relationships. If she is abusive, it is better for you both to separate. you should ask her nicely if she can be more respectful.if she tells u not to tell her what to do find a girl your type


What do you do if a girl is flirting with a guy in a relationship?

You should ask the guy about it before you do anything!


What is a boy-girl relationship?

A relationship between a boy and a girl.


Should you ask out a girl if she's got a boyfriend?

No, interfering with a relationship will cause problems with their relationship and should never be something a person should do to another person and their relationship. You should wait for a while and see if she either breaks up with this person, or move on. You should not influence the relationship to break up, otherwise it'll cause problems.


How do you know that you are in a relationship?

If you feel that you are in a relationship but are unsure of it then you should talk to the boy/girl. A relationship needs communication, if you can't ask your partner if you are in a relationship then it's probably not a very good one.


If a girl and a boy are friends is it possible for them to go out?

A girl and boy can be friends. If they are not in a relationship then it is fine for them to go out. You naver know what the future has in store for them. If they are in a relationship then they should not go out especially, if there is an attraction amongst them.


What should you do if your boyfriend only gets abusive when he has been drinking and he only pushes you is it still abuse?

Yes it is. Men shouldn't get physical with a girl like that.


How to get relationship in girl?

You can get into a relationship with a girl by engaging her in a conversation and spending time with her.


My girl friend is talking to two lads about your relationship but im argueing with these lads and there using stuff shes telling them what should I do?

You should ask her to please not talk about your relationship with her to them. She should be able to understand and will stop.


Do you agree in a boy to boy or girl to girl relationship's?

i dont agree in both .but the better one is a girl to girl relationship


Should you date a girl just getting out of a bad relationship?

yes it will improve her mood


When in the relationship should a boy and a girl kiss?

Whenever they feel comfortable kissing eachother.


You are in a relationship with a girl but she say she is confuse about you and is first guyso what should i do?

Talk to her and work out her problems.


What if a girl is more educated than a guy in a relationship?

Slyly hint to him what he should be doing