Relationships

What should you do if you love a girl who is in a relationship with an abusive an over-possessive guy?

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2005-09-23 18:53:37
2005-09-23 18:53:37

The best you can do is get her aside when there is no one around and tell her that if she ever needs to talk to someone you are there because you care for her. NEVER let her abusive partner see you together because you will only make more trouble for her. Other than what I have suggested you can't do a thing, and it's up to her to get herself out of this relationship. Believe it or not there are some women that like to be controlled, and if a good friend comes to them and expresses their concerns as to how they are treated by their partner they will either look at you with a "ho hum attitude like they've been struck by a cattle prod" or they'll say, "But I love him!" I have had to deal with this same problem with 3 of my girlfriends, and it always turns out that I was the bad guy. For some reason in their twisted reasoning of a good relationship they feel that the abuser (mental or physical or both) loves them because they go to the trouble with their constant attention on the abused. Hard to believe, but it's the truth. Stats also show (and I help abused women) that a high percentage of them are in a set pattern and they will either go back to their abuser or, if they manage to get away from their abuser they will seek out the same type of man and put up with more abuse. In some cases they manage to find a wonderful and caring man, yet will grow bored with him and want to go back to the abused man! They are not stupid women, but brain-washed women. They know no other way and have not been treated with the dignity and respect they so deserve so they expect nothing more in their lives. Other women in abusive relationships are terrified and don't quite know how to get out of the relationship. They fear dragging their family and friends into the problem because 9 changes out of the 10 the abuser has instilled fear in their victim that if they talk about what is going on behind closed doors they will do something terrible to the family or friend(s). The victim believes this and doesn't realize most of us can look after ourselves. Especially when young, abusers are resentful, controlling, quick to anger, so if you were to interfere in this problem, he would never have the guts to face you one-on-one, but one night you just might end up facing a gang of his buddies. The excuse for beating you half senseless or worse would be "he's trying to steal my girl!" Be careful! I suggest you find out the phone # and address of your local "Abused Women's Center" or at least the phone # of "Mental Health" in your area (they will lead this young woman in the right direction) to help her ONLY IF SHE WANTS THE HELP. Abused Women's Centers usually coincide with the police in the area, they protect the woman and put her in a "safe house" and give her legal counsel as well as professional counselling. Even if this young woman does get away from her abuser it will take a bit for her mind and perhaps her body to heal. If you love her then it's going to be a long waiting game. I truly wish you luck and thank you for caring for someone such as this young woman. She's lucky and I hope she realizes it. God Bless Marcy

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Many BFs, or boyfriends, are not abusive. If a boyfriend is abusive, the girl should leave the relationship and file charges. Do not keep going back to an abuser.

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I have never been in an abusive relationship but you should get rid of whoever is hurting you, and if he continues, tell someone about it.

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well this one is a toughy. They love that is why. maybe because they r insecure about their relationship, thinking htat their girfriends will throw them over for the next guy maybe they dont have that much confidence in the girl to stay faithful and maybe they r plain overpossessive and there are many more reasons

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It shouldn't matter. If he is picky with how rich the girl is, that'd be an abusive relationship. Just make sure the boy doesn't have to pay for everything for every date.

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He should leave them alone ! Their relationship is none of his business !

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In a healthy relationship, each person is equal to the other and has the same rights and responsibilities. There should be no domination of anyone in a relationship.

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No. Just maybe abusive. Love should not hurt... or leave marks!

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she has not had a relationship with a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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You should ask the guy about it before you do anything!

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If you feel that you are in a relationship but are unsure of it then you should talk to the boy/girl. A relationship needs communication, if you can't ask your partner if you are in a relationship then it's probably not a very good one.

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No, interfering with a relationship will cause problems with their relationship and should never be something a person should do to another person and their relationship. You should wait for a while and see if she either breaks up with this person, or move on. You should not influence the relationship to break up, otherwise it'll cause problems.

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A girl and boy can be friends. If they are not in a relationship then it is fine for them to go out. You naver know what the future has in store for them. If they are in a relationship then they should not go out especially, if there is an attraction amongst them.

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A relationship between a boy and a girl.

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You can get into a relationship with a girl by engaging her in a conversation and spending time with her.

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Whenever they feel comfortable kissing eachother.

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Slyly hint to him what he should be doing

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You should ask her to please not talk about your relationship with her to them. She should be able to understand and will stop.


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