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You were finished before you got started. Usually when you marry someone with a child already there is a rift about disciplining because you are not regarded as the child's father and only the step-father. I tend to blame the mothers for this. When she makes a point of discipline with her child, then she should have involved you to back her up and she chose not too and she left you out in the cold. My question is, "Why is your step-son still at home?" This young man should be out working and in his own place, either that or in college. Communication is very important and you need to leave the house with your wife and go for a long, long walk. You'll have to take a risk and tell her that she has made her choice ... her son or you as she's done nothing to smarten him up, so, you're leaving! This will put her in a position where she has to either kick him out or go for marriage counseling. I feel honestly that marriage counseling will do little because the dye is already cast and with the age of your step-son he has already won the battle, but YOU can win the war! Have that private talk with your wife and don't sit and take this behavior anymore. If it means you need a separation for both of you to think things out then it's best because it will save a lot of misery and possibly your health. Good luck It sounds like time to seek advice from a marriage counselor. Sometimes, when you are so close to a problem, you can overlook the obvious. You and/or your wife may have difficulty seeing what's wrong. When that happens, it can be quite difficult to take advice. A marriage counselor can help with these types of issues, and often the marriage can be saved. But if you both continue with your headstrong ways, and both refuse to consider the feelings and concerns of your spouse, the marrage is probably over. Marriage counselors often work on what is called a "sliding scale", meaning that they accept payment based on your ability to pay. It's important that you take care of this issue before it destroys the relationship. Both of you need to go with the understanding that there will be compromise required, and both need to feel the importance of saving the relationship. TWENTY-ONE gotta go buddy.... its tough to put your wife in that situation but be honest with her and yourself. dont make her choose but be clear of your intent if the situation is not addressed

2006-12-26 11:43:57
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Q: What should you do if your 21-year-old stepson is a sponge who uses his mother like a slave and it is causing a rift between your wife and you and you are about ready to divorce?
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