What should you do if your husband's ex lately has been calling every other day to talk about things other than their child and she will call up to four times a night?

I don't blame you ... enough is enough! This is business that should be dealt with by YOUR HUSBAND and his ex! Child or not, there is no need for so many phone calls. Many men hate confrontation especially when it involves two women. They will often back off.

Be wise about this one. Ask him why she is phoning so often. If the child isn't sick or there are no serious problems with that child then there is no need for his ex to be phoning. If this is not the case then tell him (calmly) that it is his responsibility to set his ex straight and if he doesn't it is going to end up destroying the marriage you have with him.

There can only be 3 reasons why your husband's ex is bothering you both: The child is sick or always in trouble; she is not self confident and can't seem to deal with some problems in her life and that of their child's or, she's trying to split you both up and wanting him back. You have no alternative but to sit down and communicate with your husband and find out which one of the 3 I mentioned is his ex and then deal with it from there. If the child is sick or in trouble then I'd become part of it and not complain as much, but, if she is lacking in self confidence or trying to split your marriage up it's your husband's responsibility to act on what he knows is going on and set her straight!

Good luck

Answer

You tell your husband that this is not right and that right in front of you he needs to tell her that she is being intrusive and needs to find someone else to "vent" to. Either be on the other line or put the phone on speaker. If your husband doesnt want to do this for fear of hurting her feelings or because he feels obligated, remind him that your feelings and his obligations to you are what is his priorities right now. If she wants to call about the children and it has to be a real issue, medical,school, behavior then that is something that needs to be discussed and you should be included in that too after he gets off the phone with her so you are kept in the loop.He should have told her on his own by now but apparently he hasn't. If he refuses to do so then you take the bull by the horns and let her know that she needs to find someone else to tell her problems to and she had his chance with him. If your husband doesnt like that then too bad and I would start to question his loyalties??????????? I believe that divorced people need to be civil to one another afterwards, if its possible, but I don't believe that the ex's should be allowed to be disrespectful to the new spouse and that is where your husbands backbone needs to come into play.......Good Luck