Whats the best joke in the world?

Answer 1

Hooweestik's favorite

It's a little lengthy, but its my favorite.

A rooster lived on a farm. He had all the chicks to himself. One day, he saw a new young buck of a rooster walking this way and that, strutting in front of all the chicks. The older rooster thought I won't have any of this and confronted the younger buck. The old rooster said "Hey boy. I see you're new here and I'll have you know that this is my neck of the woods and we don't need you here." The young rooster replied "Well old man, I'm here and soon you will be gone." The older rooster thought for the rest of the day and then confronted his younger counterpart. "Hey boy. How about we have a foot race and the winner will take the farm. The loser will have to admit defeat and leave." The younger rooster considered this and replied "I'll beat you old man." The older rooster replied Well that remains to be seen." The older rooster took his spur and drew a line in the dirt and said "We will start on this line and run to the horses stable, turn left around the big barn, then around the pigs pen and then back to this point making full circle. Whoever makes it here first, wins." The younger rooster nods his head in agreement and they line up on the line. The older rooster says "On you mark, get set... Wait a minute. I'm almost twice your age. Why don't you give me a five foot head start?" The younger rooster thinks about this and agrees. So they line up again on the line. The older rooster 5 feet ahead of the younger. "On your mark, get set, go!" They take off in a flash towards the horses stable. When they round the stables, the older rooster looks back over his shoulder and the younger has closed the gap to two and half feet. They take off to the barn. When they pass the barn, the younger has closed the gap to two feet. They then run to the pigs pen and when they round it, the younger has closed the gap to one foot. They both run to the finish line, giving it all they have. The younger roster gets closer and closer.... About this time, the owner of the farm is sitting on the front porch and sees this commotion going on. He raises his shotgun and BLAM! He blows the younger rooster to a mass of feathers. His wife calls out from the kitchen What's the matter dear?" He replies 'DAMN IT! That's the third queer rooster I've bought this month!"

The D.R.O.'s favorite

What do you call a Mexican baby? A paragraph, because he's too small to be an essay.

Another favorite:

HOW DO PUT AN ELEPHANT IN A REFRIGERATOR?

Stuff it in.

HOW DO YOU PUT A GIRAFFE IN A REFRIGERATOR?

Take out the elephant and put the giraffe in.

ALL THE ANIMALS CAME TO THE ANIMAL MEETING. WHO DIDN'T?

The giraffe because it's in the refrigerator.

HOW DO YOU SWIM ACROSS A RIVER THAT'S KNOWN TO HAVE ALLIGATORS?

Swim through, because the alligators are at the animal meeting.

One day, this Cajun guy wanted to be an engineer. The engineer said that he had to do some math problems to get the job. So the engineer takes a pen and paper and tell the Cajun guy, "Write a problem that equals 9."

So the Cajun guy takes the paper and draws three tree. Then the engineer says, "How does this equal 9?" And then the Cajun guy answers, "Tree, plus tree, plus tree, equals nine." then the engineer tells the cajun guy,"Now write a problem that equals 99." So the Cajun guy takes the paper and draws some dirt under each tree. Then, the engineer says, "How does this equal 99?" And then the cajun guy says, "Dirty-tree, plus dirty-tree, plus dirty-tree equals 99." So then the engineer says, "Write a problem that equals 100." So then the cajun guy takes the paper and draws a dog with some poop by each tree. Then the engineer says, "How does this equal 100?" And then the cajun guy says, "Dirty-tree and a turd, plus dirty-tree and a turd, plus dirty-tree and a turd equals 100."

Answer 2

-Ok, so the teacher ties all the students shoes together, guess what they ended up doing that day?

....

....

....

Went on a CLASS TRIP! [:

-why did the chicken cross the road

cause he wanted to get on the other side!!!!! oooooooooo

-A teacher asked a kid what the term for water is. the kid says

" h i j k l m n o "

the teacher gets confused and asks

"how do you get that?"

and the kid says.

"yesterday,you said the term to water is H to O."

lol, get it? H2O- h to o?

Answer 3

Theres a guy who doesnt know any English and he watches 3 commercials on tv.

The First one was about ice cream "who wants ice cream?? me me me me"

the second was about forks and knives "forks and knives, forks and knives"

the third one was about energizer "plug it in plug it in"

and there was a dead guy in the bathroom.

the cops showed up and said "who killed him?"

"me me me me."

"howd you kill him?"

"forks and knives forks and knives"

"Do you want me to put you in an electric chair?!?!"

"Plug it in plug it in"

this is not the greatest joke ever

Answer 4

There is alot of great jokes in the world. But there's not only one best jOke. There is a lot of them.

Answer 5

1.

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly?

A. A bird can fly but a fly cant bird

2.

Q.

A.

Answer 6

Yo mama so ugly, when she fell on the grass outside, she was found guilty of littering.

Yo mama so hairy that Chubacka (From Star Wars) looked at her and said, "WOO MAMA!"