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Well, it's been about 5 years for me and I still have not gone back. However, over the past few months I have been contemplating going back for the sake of our son who is 13 years old.

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13y ago
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Q: When a wife leaves her husband for another man she says she is in love with but denies having an affair but she has been hiding it for five months what are chances of her coming back?
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Could you set aside the pain your husband gave you from his affair for the sake of your young children?

Each individual woman is different when it comes to forgiving her husband for having an affair and it is a personal decision by that woman. Once that bond of trust is broken it is difficult for the wife to trust her husband and generally that mistrust turns into questioning the husband if he should be late coming home to where he is going and eventually some men will simply leave the marriage on that basis. Not only that, but the wife feels demeaned or sometimes unattractive because she can subconsciously feel she is unattractive or her husband wouldn't have found it necessary to have an affair. Of course is most cases this is not true and the husband would cheat no matter how attractive his wife is. If your husband has had more than one affair before it is more than likely he will have another one. If this is the first affair he has had then humans make mistakes and it is worth trying to resolve problems in your marriage by seeking out a good marriage counselor, but only if your husband is willing. If your husband refuses to get marriage counseling or does not want to give up the woman he has had the affair with or feels threatened by you to walk away from the affair then no, it is not wise to stay in such an unsettled and toxic marriage for the sake of the children. If you and your husband decide to dissolve the marriage then try to do it on a friendly basis for the sake of the children as children often blame themselves for their parents divorcing. Make sure you try to appear to be friends in front of the children and agree that your husband pays child support and has joint custody of his children so the children can have both parents in their lives. If you do not want to be quite so drastic as to apply for divorce you could try separating for awhile to see if you and your husband cannot work things out, but be sure the children get to see him or even stay with this father on weekends and some holidays.


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