Where was the first car placed?

Answer 1

Baloney History:

(The Lighter Side of History)

(Which means, some historical truth and a lot of baloney)

The infamous and discredited arechologist's Hanna and Barbara have placed the first automobile's in the Stone Age, with Henry T. Fordstone, a neighbor and fast friend of Frederick Flinstone of Bedrock as being the inventor of the first automobile. Many historians and archeologist's have written countless essays, articles and books on the shoddy science and out right lies these two pretenders to science have been guilty of perpetuating on the world. Unimpressed and unfettered by the scientific community Hanna and Barbara went into animation and television to present their case to the world. While it is a matter of debate whether Hanna and Barbara are correct in stating it was Henry T. Fortstone who built the first automobile, by virtue of their own accounts on their hugely popular cartoon The Flinstones, it should be clear that the vehicle in question is not an "auto" mobile at all but rather a contraption that can not be operated with out it's driver powering the vehicle with their own two feet. Also, there is no archeological evidence this contraption ever existed.

In the 15th century, around 1478, Leonardo da vinci designed what may be the first known concept for a self propelled vehicle and a programmable steering wheel as well. This vehicle is sometimes called the clockwork car because of its spring design. The designs of Da Vinci were first discovered by Girolamo Calvi, an Italian academic and Da Vinci studies pioneer, (whatever that is). Calvi dubbed this vehicle he discovered in DaVinci's design, "Da Vinci's Fiat". Since the time of Calvi there have been others who have endeavored to join the fascinating field of Da Vinci studies and act as pioneers themselves. Professor Carlo Pedretti, the leading expert on Da Vinci in modern times, identified coil springs hidden underneath the drums, as a means of propulsion. Pedretti then joined an American robotics expert, Mark Rosheim, to actually develop the car in Da Vinci's design. In 2004, The Museum of History and Science, in Florence Italy, mounted an exhibition of three different versions of Da Vinci's designs as well as displaying the original designs by Da Vinci. The provided viewers with an interactive simulation that led to many viewers commenting on the remarkable similarity of Da Vinci's Clockwork cars and one of NASA's vehicles, the "Spirit", a space vehicle used on the planet Mars. This only confirms the long held notion that Da Vinci was a really spacey dude.

Editor's note:

The above paragraph has been reviewed by the Society of Uptight and Really, Really, Serious Historians, (S.U.R.R.S.H.), and they have confirmed it's veracity. Surprisingly even the last comment of that paragraph which is the only reason the editor's have left that in as this answerer has been warned repeatedly about placing his own opinions in serious answers.

The next person believed to have made the first automobile is Nicholas Joseph Cugnot, a French inventor. This claim has been disputed by many historians and there is much debate on who actually invented the first automobile. According to S.U.R.R.S.H., there was a Jesuit friar or monk who may have invented the first vehicle in 1672 somewhere in China. Cugnot was the first to successfully create a device for conversion of a steam piston into rotary motion by means of a ratchet arrangement. He first built a small version of this device of which he called the Fardier a vapeur, which is French for...I don't know what, and the Fardier was a humongous contraption of a two wheeled horse-drawn cart used for transporting really, really, really, heavy equipment such as canon barrels.

A year after Cugnot created this small scaled Fardier a vapeur he built a full scale model that weighed about 2.5 tonnes tare and was designed to carry four tonnes and travel a distance of close to five miles...or if your French or...well, anyone other than American, that would be two lieues or 7.8 kilometers. This vehicle had two wheels at the rear and one in front where the horse would have normally been and the front wheel supported the steam engine or driving mechanism. It is reported this vehicle was very unstable due to poor weight distribution which made the device unwieldy and unsightly and in 1771 the vehicle went out of control and knocked down part of the Arsenal wall and very well may be the first car wreck in history. This account may or may not be true, which is why it is of this answerers opinion that too much of history is a bunch of hoo-haw and a lot of baloney. The problem of boiler performance was also not very impressive and required a relighting and raising of the steam every quarter of an hour, which dramatically reduced the speed and even the French feel the Need for Speed.

After several trials and tribulations in regards to this contraption the French Army finally abandoned the effort and the experiment with mechanical automobiles came to an abrupt halt yet King Louis XV, was impressed enough to grant Cugnot an impressive pension for his innovation and commanded the Fardier a vapeur be kept at the arsenal for safe keeping. Today that vehicle can be found at the Conservetoire National des Artes et Metiers .

Editors note:

S.U.R.R.S.H. also confirms this account but the answerer is being warned about the editorializing and to stop picking on the French. Just answer the question James Joseph.

In terms of the electric car there is little information on the pioneers of this vehicle and one suspects this is due to piston engine automobile makers who have spent vast amounts of money to keep this information from the public. This, of course, is only one of the many conspiracy theories promulgated by James Joseph but it is none the less convenient for the piston engine automobile manufacturers that so little information is available on the pioneers of the electric car. The time line for these inventors is as follows::

1832-1839 Scottish inventor Robert Anderson invents the first electric automobile which was crude and rude. He used this vehicle to hunt for hagis in the woods of Scotland. He had little success in his hunt for haggis due to his non rechargeable primary cells that powered the vehicle.

1835 American Thomas Davenport is credited with building the first practical electric vehicle which was a small locomotive. Practical because this locomotive was frugal, reticent and keen on savings bonds.

1859 French physicist Gaston Plante invents a rechargeable lead-acid storage battery. A lesser known discovery by Plante that has been largely overshadowed by his invention of a lead-acid battery is the first fossils to a prehistoric flightless bird known as the Gastornis Parisiensis, named after Plante. This explains why Plante's physicist peers and indeed, many physicist today refer to Gaston Plante as the bird brained physicist.

1881 Camille Faure improves upon Plante's battery by increasing its ability to store electrical current, a French chemical engineer, (as if his name wasn't enough to indicate he was French), who also invented or improved upon hot air engines and motor vehicle steering mechanisms. This is why he was called by his peers in chemical engineering and indeed, known by many chemical engineers today as the chemical engineer full of hot air.

1912 Charles Kettering hastened the demise of the electric car in its early days by inventing the first practical automobile starter which was a hand crank that only made gasoline powered automobiles more alluring.

Editors note:

S.U.R.R.S.H. has confirmed the accuracy of the names and time line but strongly disagree with the account of haggis hunting by Robert Anderson and can find no historical records to support the claim that Plante was called a birdbrain physicist nor any accounts that verify the assertion that Faure was known as the chemical engineer full of hot air. We have warned you on this James Joseph and strongly urge you to stop picking on the French.

It is Karl Frederich Benz, who often spelled his name Carl, to separate and distinguish himself from that other famous German who went by Karl, (That's Marx for those who haven't been indoctrinated yet. No, not Groucho, Karl Marx.), and is generally regarded as being the first to invent the gasoline powered automobile. Benz, of course, is the founder and genius inventor of Mercedes Benz and after several hours of searching various search engines this answer was unable to come up with any information as to where the first vehicle that Benz created might be kept. As far as google is concerned, apparently not enough people are interested in knowing that.

While it is hotly debated as to who invented the first automobile it is interesting to note that the days of individual maverick inventors who created and marketed their own inventions seems to be a thing of the past and left for history and the buffs who read history. Today, it is rare to read of individual maverick inventors who have made a contribution to posterity and who invented the MRI, the microwave and scads of other useful inventions remains a mystery as the corporate world endeavors to wipe out any sing of individuality and replace it with faceless consumerism. These are the historical accounts of those great individuals who endeavored to improve upon the plight of humanity and they were did so before the rise of corporate nations. Ironically, Benz, Henry T. Ford and Alva A. Edison, all maverick inventors, were some of the first to build gargantuan corporations and paved the way for the faceless, nameless inventors of today.

Editors note:

Again the Society of Uptight and Really, Really Serious Historians agrees with much of James Joseph's accounts but strongly objects to the red baiting and while Karl Benz did sometimes spell his name Carl, there is no historical record to confirm he did so to distinguish himself from Karl Marx. Karl Marx is off topic and we are warning you for the last time Mister, stop antagonizing the WA community and the poor researchers who've unknowingly entered this site expecting a brief and accurate response to their question. This is your final warning. Learn some brevity skills or we will start editing your work. Do you understand?

Oh why don't you just shut up!

No, you shut up!

No, you shut up!

You're a long winded blow hard who doesn't care about the work you put us through. S.U.R.R.S.H. won't even take our calls anymore because of you.

Waaa, waaa, waaa...boo hoo hoo! You guys are babies

Nuh-uh

Uh-huh

Nope

Yep.

Are not

Are too

Shut up! That's it James Joseph go to bed and we'll talk about this tomorrow.

Fine then. Bye!