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When Valentine and Ender where little, valentine couldn't completely pronounce "Andrew" and so called him Ander which late became Ender. This is revealed in Ender In Exile
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∙ 14y ago
Ender's sister Valentine called him Ender because his real name, Andrew, was too affectionate and tender for the harsh environment he was facing at Battle School. By using his more formal and detached nickname, she hoped to protect him from vulnerability and emotional attachment that could hinder his success as a leader.
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