Child Safety

Why do some mothers abuse only one of their children?

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2010-10-17 20:00:20
2010-10-17 20:00:20
Being verbally and physically abused is nothing new to me. It's been going on since I was 7, and I'm 14 now and it's still going on. I think they only abuse one of their children (usually the oldest) to have a sense of control over their life, when in reality they have none. They chose to dictate smaller envoirnment.Answer

Parents abuse their children because they themselves were abused when young. Their brain is wired from such a young age to be violent. Now as a parent themselves, they treat their children the same way they were treated by their parents, by beating them up. While a child grows older and begins to develop his or her personality, it triggers inside of the parent rage, because it threatens their ego's. They sabotage the child's development to keep the child subservient.

Answer

There is something in Jungian Psychology called the negative mother complex. It describes the situation. The abused child is most probably the one that has a desire for independence, the one that is healthy and can move on without her. The negative mother wants a constant control over her children, to the degree that she had whilst they were young. As they grow older, and prepare to get jobs, go to college and have families, she becomes angry and jealous. The child becomes abused both emotionally and physically by the mother, so that she can further control them and their lives. Many children do give in to mothers' like this, and report back to them several times a week. They will always remain 'children' to the mother.

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I'm not talking from experience because I came from a very happy home, but I do have friends who have been abused. Often it's the weaker child, the child that has some small handicap that is abused. It could also be that the abuser recognises faults of himself/herself in the child. Finally it could be pure jealousy. Whatever the reason it is the abuser who has the problem but unfortunately the damage is done before the child is old enough to realise this.

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I would suspect that the mother has a chemical brain imbalance or other possible mental problems. The child she singles out for abuse may be a difficult child, or they may not LIKE themselves or their spouse and that child REMINDS them of that person they hate. There are many reasons why parents do what they do to their children. Whether or not you are a member of that family, you should contact an agency in your state that deals with abuse. It is the FAULT of the mother, NOT the child. Sometimes the mother may convince the child that they are "bad" and the child may not even realize that such treatment is WRONG. Help if you can, for everyones sake.

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To divide her children so that she will always have an ally. By doing this she knows that she can rely on support from one of the other siblings to help abuse the isolated child. This person(the abuser) has their own problems wether it is emotional or mental, some people just get off on being mean. If there is a willing sibling(witness) to the abuse, an older and stronger family member, preferibly another adult, have them take note of the abuse. Many times nobody will say anything for the fear of retalliation. You will need solid evidence and the deterimination of the other members of the family to make any action work. This is a seroius situation that can't be committed without the intention of seeing all the way through. Reporting this to the right authorities would be the thing to do.

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There are many things that would make a mother abuse only one child in the family. Sadly, I can speak from experience and although it is painful to speak of I will do my best to enlighten you. Sometimes, if the mother and father split and/or now hate each other she may take her anger out the child/children; or if the parents do split if one child favors or acts more like the other parent she will beat them. Also if the mother/abuser is currently or has been abused themselves she may just subconsciously think of it as a right of passage and may just be passing it on to their children. There are is also a disease or disorder I'm not sure that makes the mother want to abuse her children. The mother my also have emotional disorders such as paranoia and anger issues some of which may be genetic, that will make her want to abuse her the child that makes her the most angry. If you are being abuse please tell someone, get help. I did and it made me feel so much better about myself and released me from the prison i was in. You don't have to be afraid, there is always a way to make things better. Please go get help.

ANSWER

I think every case can have multiple dynamics and there is not just one reason or element for cause. Speaking from personal experience, I was the child that was abused by my Mother. It started around the age of 5 and lasted as long as I could defend myself...around age 15. In my case I had the misfortune of resembling in appearance and mannerisms that of her father. She was abused by her father (My Grandfather). I don't have to speculate on this because my own father told me that was the reason when I confronted him about it as an adult. He informed me that she could hardly stand to look or talk to me because I reminded her of him so much. I think the key to end the cycle of abuse is to get counseling of some sort for the victim as soon as possible. My mother never visited a counselor to address her issues with her father until she was 58 years old. I was fortunate enough to work through the abuse issues with a counselor in my 20's.

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