Relationships
Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

Why do you feel guilty about dating another man after your relationship with an ex-abusive boyfriend is over?

212223

Top Answer
User Avatar
Wiki User
2005-10-04 18:28:33
2005-10-04 18:28:33

Many of us believe in being honest and true in our relationship. I was married in my 20s, but my first husband loved women and obviously I wasn't one of them (so I thought.) I put up with it for quite sometime, and finally, one day at work it was like I'd been struck by lightening and I realized I deserved better, so I went apartment hunting, found a lawyer and filed for divorce. My ex kept phoning me and wanting me back, and when I refused it was one ugly scene for months to come. He made a simple divorce into a divorce from hell. I moved out and the first problem I had was feeling very lonely and wondering if it hadn't been my fault (it wasn't) and in a few months I began to enjoy my freedom. I changed jobs, met new friends, etc. Then it came down to dating all over again and it was tough. Like you, I felt guilty and it drove me crazy. I happened to mention it to a good male friend of mine and he straightened me out in a hurry. He told me that I was extremely loyal, took relationships and marriage very seriously and had a hard time accepting the fact that not all people think the way I do. It became clear to me that when you love someone, make love with them, go together for a long time and get married there is definitely a bond there and it's a tough one to break. When we start dating again we feel like we are cheating because everything inside of us tell us says "we should have stuck it out." That's the biggest piece of garbage that ever came down the pipeline. If you've tried very hard in a relationship and the other person isn't responding, cheating on you, abusing you, then there is nothing wrong with walking away from it. Abusers are controllers and actually they are weak individuals. They often have come from an abusive environment and never learned the tools from others about what is right and what is wrong. They desperately want love, but don't know how to accept it or dish it out. Abusers have to control the environment around them to feel safe. They are to be pitied in some ways because they really never know what it is to love someone. Verbally/physically abusing someone is not love! He's playing games with you and pressing your buttons. Stay away from him! You sound like a smart woman and please, don't risk the good relationship you have now by feeling guilty with being with this new man in your life, but enjoy every moment of it and stay away from your abuser! I would like to suggest you at least get some counseling from an "Abused Women's Center" (group programs where you will meet many women in your past situation) and these programs give you the tools to get through life so you won't go back to your abuser or find another abusive man to take over your life. Good luck Marcy

1
๐Ÿ™
0
๐Ÿคจ
0
๐Ÿ˜ฎ
0
๐Ÿ˜‚
0

Related Questions

User Avatar

The people are dating. They are boyfriend and girlfriend.

User Avatar

it means that you are in a relationship with your boyfriend, you are his first (it may not be first in all his life but at the currant time.)girlfriend and at the same time he is with another person (woman / girl) dating or in a relationship with that you may not know of or do not know about and that what is call cheating.

User Avatar

It sounds like he was not over the first girl, and is consciously or subconsciously reliving his prior relationship through another person.

User Avatar

a boyfriend is someone , you are dating or have a relationship with and a ex-boyfriend is someone that was your boyfriend and now isn't.i hope this help out a little bit

User Avatar

she is dating Lucas Till,,from Hannah Montana: The Movie.

User Avatar

When you are committed to one another and in a monogamous relationship (only dating one another) that tends to be a serious relationship.

User Avatar

There is no prerequisite time made. However, it does depend on terms of the relationship, type, and the age at which you are dating.

User Avatar

If your boyfriend is married or dating another girl it might be hard to get them back. But, if it was you who broke up with them. An apologize might do it but, it usually doesn't. Maybe you can start over and grow on your relationship more.

User Avatar

No she isn't dating anyone right now and isn't looking for a serious relationship with you.

User Avatar

That depends on where you fit in to the relationship.If you and your boyfriend have made long term commitments and have promised to be with each other and no one else. Then it would be cheating.But if you and your boyfriend are just dating and have made NO commitments, he probably sees you as just another girlfriend and that would NOT be cheating.

User Avatar

I think you should ditch your best friend and replace her with another person who won't betray your trust by dating your boyfriend. That's what you should do.

User Avatar

To date another guy to make the one your dating mad

User Avatar

the person you are seeing?? or just your date..... or your girlfriend/boyfriend

User Avatar

Most of the time it means they are dating or boyfriend/girlfriend

User Avatar

When both partners are ready to commit to one another.

User Avatar

You can say that you're in a committed relationship, or a serious relationship, or a long-term relationship.

User Avatar

Amrita Rao does not have a boyfriend. She is single actress if relationship status is seen. Shahid Kapoor was the actor she was linked with.

User Avatar

If you are dating a guy but your relationship is long distance and he's in another state and you have met a new guy that lives in your city where you can see him on a daily basis, you can break up with your "long distance boyfriend" by telling him you can't continue dating someone on a long distance basis.

User Avatar

Two lovers are usually seeing each other exclusively (boyfriend/girlfriend) though not always. It's a relationship where there is mutual love and it can vary from situation to situation. *Usually* but not always unmarried. -Boyfriend/Girlfriend -Dating only/Unofficial relationship

User Avatar

It is best to take a break and sort out your feelings first don't jump into another relationship right away especially with an ex.

User Avatar

she is dating Robert pattinson and they have a on-screen relationship ansd its gone off screeen

User Avatar

she was dating bow wow but that was about 3 years ago,but as for right now it is not known to the public if she is in a relationship.

User Avatar

Ask him! Honest communication is a very important in any relationship.

User Avatar

You don't. What kind of sister & friend are you as to where you'd want to make someone think that? If YOU don't like her boyfriend, that's none of your business. She's not dating YOU, she's dating HIM. If you're that cruel & can't leave her relationship alone, sit her down & calmly explain why you don't want her with her boyfriend. Remember that her relationship is not your business or decision though.


Copyright ยฉ 2020 Multiply Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved. The material on this site can not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with prior written permission of Multiply.