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Because love and pain become one in the same when you have been abused. You may eel as if you failed some how. You did not. Speak to God, Meditate, do some yoga if you get in touch with you, the pain will leave.

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โˆ™ 2006-04-05 16:09:33
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Q: Why does leaving an abusive relationship hurt even though you're making an improvement in your life?
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Related questions

What is an emotional abusive relationship?

calling names such as fat, lazy, making someone feel bad for themselves..never stay in a emoctional abusive relationship..they can cause MAJOR depression problems

What to do in a situation where a 32 yr old boy who is verbally abusive to his father is making no progress in leaving home?

Kick them out and if they don't leave call the cops.

How long after an abusive relationship should you wait before starting a new relationship?

when you get over the other person usually, its up to you.AnswerThere is no easy answer to this, but you should wait until you have adequately addressed your personal issues that lead you to beginning and remaining in that abusive relationship. That you were abused is not your fault. You have to consider though, the majority of people in abusive relationships have psychological or emotional matters that were part of the decision making process that landed them in it and that should be addressed. Far too many go from one abusive relationship to the next. Take the time to review and determine if you need to break a cycle, or if that relationship was a fluke.

Why do you feel so much guilt for leaving an abusive relationship?

Because were unable to change the situation you feel like a failure, when it wasn't your fault.AnswerBecause he did a good job making you feel guilty in the relationship as though his abuse was your fault. Even if he admitted it at times that it was his fault and that he was sorry he was not genuine. He was only trying to futhur manipulate. So with that kind of treatment it only makes sense that the guilt would continue when you leave. You have taken far too much repsonsibility for a parasites behaviour. Once you become stronger you will reach a point where you think I dont care if what I did that time or this time was wrong I did not deserve to be abused! In time you will be able to put in more in perspective. AnswerUnfortunately, this is a common effect on the victim of the abusive relationship and is part of what is commonly called "battered wife syndrome." The victim of an abusive relationship will, before finally giving up and leaving the relationship, blame themselves and have an immutable and unhealthy hope that the relationship will get better, perhaps if they are a better person and lover to their abusive partner. When they finally can motivate themselves (or have a friend help them to finally act) to remove themselves from the abusive relationship, this transmutes to feeling of guilt for giving up when they could have worked at it to make the relationship better (even though they may rationally realize there was nothing they could do to save it, and the relationship was not healthy for them).

Can there be true love in an abusive relationship?

No. absolutely not. If you are being abused the person who is abusing you does not truly love you. the Abuser makes you feel responsible for his/her actions. therefore making you believe you are in love with that person.

What can make a man abusive?

Men (and Women) can be abusive (physically or mentally) for many different reasons. Most abusers were abused themselves: usually as children. Reading in depth psychological research could help further your understanding. Most abusive partners - in relationships- feed on hurting the other person and then making it "all better." This is a control mechanism. The one who hurts you is also the only one who makes you feel better. Most abusive people are insecure and damaged. If you are in an abusive relationship, it is best to get out. If you feel that you are unsafe and leaving would only make matters worse. Contact your local police precinct or call the national Domestic Abuse hotline. 1 800 799 7233 - someone can help.

Why is an abusive man so bent on making you look like a fool?

If you understand that the abusive man is really after power you can recognize that making someone look like a fool is part of the effort to maintain control.

What is relationship of between planning and decision making?

what is the relationship between decision making and planning.?

What is a change in a situation by making it better called?

Improvement or progress.

What effect can culture the media religious beliefs and self-awareness have on abusive relationship?

media exposes the youth to situations in movies or films that try to send out a message of abuse is wrong that they do not understand and cannot mentaly 'handel', these exposures lead to confusion of what is right and wrong making it harder and harder to deside if what they do is right or wrong leaving them to turn to abusive nature simply because they cant comprehend right from wrong. Kulture that has an influence on behaviour or the way you are 'supposed' to live create problems when a child perhaps sees a fatherly figure abuse others making him think its right, resulting in the child growing up thinking he may do so aswell.

Why does a woman reconcile after three attempts to leave an abusive relationship?

Because the abuser makes the victim feel like they are and will be nothing without them. Its all about brainwashing, and making the victim fell dependant upon the abuser. No one should EVER stay in an abusive relationship, not even for the kids. That is the worst mistake someone could make. Abuser prey on the weak minded, however no one has to be weak minded, they ust have to learn how to survive on their own, and surviving on your own is possible.

Should you break up with your boyfriend if he makes you feel guilty all the time?

Yes, you should leave the relationship. That is because he is somehow making you change your view of what you do with good intentions to be something wrong. Eventually, you won't be able to do anything right, and you will not feel good about yourself. He cannot be right all the time! Actually, this is verbally abusive behavior and you are caught in a vicious cycle. Read Patricia Evan's book, "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" for further insight.

How can you tell if you are in an abusive relationship?

you have bruises all over your body, cant be bothered making dinner for them and you seriously dont give one @!#\ about the person. Hope this helps. your spouse will make you feel like crap and you will begin to doubt yourself.

Why is home improvement important?

Home improvement is important for making our home more beautiful and attractive. It makes our home clean and well maintained. People should choose the right home improvement company to get an attractive home.

How do you know if you are in a mentally abusive relationship?

Review the warning signs and decide for yourself. A mentally abusive relationship caused two 'feelings' in me. I reacted with confusion to a pattern of speech that my abuser would use. The purpose of the mental abuse is to instill self doubt in you and then you are easier to control. The second re-action I had was a type of emotional numbness. This came after a period of crazy making verbal abuse. If you feel confused around your abuser and then notice a numbness that is a good clue that your are bing mentally manipulated.

Is it abuse when a man says you cant do what you want to do?

In my opinion, yes. When your boyfriend or husband keeps you from making decisions based on your own free will, he is essentially holding you prisoner, though not always in a physical sense but in a psychologically abusive manner. My advice is to get out of the relationship as soon as you can and be as safe as you can.

What is most monumental decision in making a a trip to Oregon?

The season for leaving on the journey>

What does a liftmaster do in regards to home construction & Improvement?

A liftmaster aids in home construction and improvement by making it more safe. It is safer to use a lift master than a ladder.

How do you write a leaving certificate?

how to write a college leaving certificate for college principle reason of making my marriage certificate so urgently require leaving certificate, please help me

The NAACP and the Montgomery Improvement Association challenged racial segregation of public transportation by?

Making it illegal

Why do women who've been in abusive relationships themselves choose to be friends with abusive men?

This sounds like sour grapes about people who have been caught in abusive relationships--like it is their choice. Of course, no one specifically seeks out someone who is abusive. Actually, so many of the abusive mates are very charming and attractive (make you laugh, have fun, offer nice courtesies) in the beginning, which is so appealing. They just can't keep the facade when things get real, and there is commitment by the other person, so there is less incentive to mind their manners. Looking back, I can see several "what was That?" instances in my relationship. And that is the issue--we all go back to familiar behaviors unless we have had time out to have the insight to see ourselves as we are and to view our choices with more logic than emotion. A veteran of an abusive relationship needs to take things slow, observe the red flags (ie. did the person's ex leave them suddenly and without explanation? Are they quick to anger? Do they blame you for things you have no control over? etc.), and spend time with the other person in several different circumstances. If you can delay having sex with the new person and mixing those endorphins into the decision making, you will be better off. A good resource is the book by Patricia Evans--The Verbally Abusive Relationship.

Why do people stay in aabusive relationship with their mother?

Why do people stay in abusive relationships in general? One reason is because they're afraid of the unfamiliar. An adult child of a verbally abusive mother is accustomed to being abused. He (or she) loves his mother and is "comfortable" with her, despite the abuse. He cannot visualize life without his mother in it, despite that she may be making him miserable. Often the abuser will manipulate and control her adult child, keeping him around, threatening him, making him feel guilty, etc. An abusive relationship is a trap. Getting out of that trap involves learning to love yourself, rely on yourself and be good to yourself. It involves taking a step of faith into a world without the familiar presence of the abuser. It takes guts and it takes a bit of tough love to stand up to someone and say, "I can't be your scapegoat any longer. Get some help and then we'll talk."

What is making out in spanish?

It depends what you mean in English: making out/distinguishing/descrying making out/developing a relationship

What is the relationship between transistor densities and the improvement in computer speed and miniaturization?

Of course a less dense transistor would be smaller enabling you to fit more of them in a confined space. Then you have the challenge of making a less dense transitor work as fast for it is less conductive. This is silcon technology.

Is it good for 2 Capricorns lesbians be in a relationship?

It is dangerous to be concerned with astrological signs when considering a relationship. You may bias yourself and sabotage something that could be great. Making a relationship work has nothing to do with signs and everything to do with both partners making an effort.