Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

Why does your abusive ex tell you that he broke up with you because you didn't listen and you are totally to blame?

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2006-09-22 20:51:52

YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME! You have had months to years of listening

to an abusive mate. It is YOUR EX that has the problem. When things

don't go right for an abuser they will ALWAYS blame someone (if not

you someone else close to them) for things not turning out. This

can even occur at the workplace and they often blame their own

mistakes on coworkers. Their whole life is about society as a whole

not treating them fairly and they become confused, controlling and


ABUSER! It would be wise for you to seek counseling as you have

lived in this environment and have become literally "brain-washed."

By seeking counseling you will learn more about the abuser and

realize you did nothing wrong and were simply used as a tool for

the abusers own unhappiness. It's normal to feel confused right

now. It's a good idea to stay away from your abuser at all costs!

Don't answer his phone calls or meet with him. It doesn't matter if

he's crying or on bended knees ... don't fall for it. An abuser is

like an out of control locomotive. You can't help him, but you can

help yourself! Don't worry so much about it, but do the right thing

and seek counseling for this. You can also join groups for Abused

Women and it will make you feel much better knowing there are other

women in the same situation as you and you will only grow in

strength from this. One day a light bulb will turn on and you'll

realize for the first time in a long time you are strong,

independent and don't need someone such as your ex. There are lots

of good men out there that will treat you the way you should be

treated. I know, I was in a 3 1/2 year marriage where my ex was a

cheater, mental/physical abuser. I left and never looked back. I

too was confused and figured if I did something right it wouldn't

have come to this, but soon realized that it was my ex with the

problem and not me. I moved into an apartment, got a new job and

new friends and it's been upward ever since. I met a wonderful man

and have been married 34 years. Good luck hon

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