Why is it that the victims of Narcissists can't seem to leave the relationship when they are being verbally and emotionally abused so much?
Narcissists are about control, mind-bending guessing games,
outbursts of anger and love to make their victims feel like they
are going crazy by making statements and then denying them later.
They are egomaniacal and have a "God complex." No one else is
smarter than they are! It's important they are the center of
attention as far as intellect goes, but can be deemed as social
outcasts in many situations. The narcissist knows full well how to
manipulate their victim (you) and at first they can be loving, give
many gifts, take their new mate for extravagant dinners, etc., and
of course the woman is going to feel like she has found that
"special guy" that will treat her like a queen. I call people who
over-indulge in the way a narcissist does "shmoozing" meaning they
are acting smooth, confident and do exactly what they are doing and
where the whole scenerio is going to end up. Once they feel you are
comfortable and they have you hooked little by little you see the
changes in them. By this time they have spun their web of deceit
leaving you wondering what hit you and doubting yourself. They have
made you feel if you can't make it with them you won't make it with
anyone else and this is their weapon! Don't play the game of the
narcissist and YOU ARE IN CONTROL so get out of there! Once they
are at work pack up and move on even if it means going home to your
parents or staying for a bit with a relative or friend. Plan ahead
before you make the move, but MAKE THAT MOVE! Good luck hon
=Answer= The above poster said it all! I just want to add a bit of
my personal experience with this... I believed whole-heartedly that
my ex loved me. I know I loved him. The warning signs may have
always been there, but the bottom line is: I wanted to believe. Who
wouldn't anyone if they thought they'd found the love of their
life? They are con men. They don't succeed because they are NOT
good at what they do. Their "survival" depends on it. He did
everything he could to give me the "illusion" of real love. Ho ho!
He was real smooth! The love I wasted on this man! BUT, it was not
my fault. Never was. At one point it was harder to admit to myself
that I'd made a serious mistake about him than it was to leave him.
That didn't last long. I "defied" him by talking to a friend about
his abusive ways, in spite of the royal treatment he always got
from me. Really woke me up! When he discovered I was "on to him" we
had the biggest blow out ever.(Don't feel you need to confront him.
It could get dangerous! Be careful!) I threw my ex and all his crap
out on to the street.It's hard to let go of that dream, but honey I
want the REAL thing. Don't you? GET OUT FAST!