Will a sociopath continue to have bad relationships?

Answer 1

I also had a relationship with a Sociopath who I still have to work with and even though he told me he has antisocial disorder, it wasn't until it was ending & I was trying to figure out what just happened to me that I began studying this disorder to make sense of things. Now, he has convinced some that I am the crazy one and his ex believes that I am jealous and continually, but subtly, "rubs it in my face". I have not made one contact with either of them and only talk work when I have to with him even though he has tried to talk to me. I know it is just a selfish attempt to get my attention to feed his ego & then make fun of me some more & tell everyone I can't get over him because I talked to him. Anyway, it's been over a year & I do still feel the need sometimes to tell him off & tell her what I think, but I refuse to give them any kind of response whatsoever. I really believe she must be mentally ill too to put up with him for this long, have his child, and believe his lies, along with her constant harassing. Prayer does help!!....and knowledge is power!!AnswerOf course, a sociopath will continue to use and abuse anyone he comes in contact with in his lifetime....or, it could also be a "she",I suppose. I was married to one, had a son who is one,two nephews who are sociopaths. They are convinced they are perfect. They cannot be improved upon in any manner. They will suck you bone dry and then burn your bones. Yes,it hurts like hell; and I will always wonder what I could have done differently........the answer, get away from these people as fast as you can. They will kill your psyche and ruin your life. The there seems to be quite a proliferation of these personalities in the world today. As always, prayer helps. AnswerI am the same person who posted the question. I'm asking this question because in my trying to heal I am "stuck" on thinking of the new person my sociopathic ex left me for. I was starting to "figure him out" and make sense of things and before I knew it he was seeing someone else. Now I have it in my head that the lying and cheating and mind games and all the other sociopathic traits have magically gone because this new woman is on the scene -- or worse -- that I somehow brought those bad traits out in him even though the woman before me (his ex wife) suffered through years of emotional and physical abuse from him.

Its very strange to me, however, that I wasn't happy being on the emotional roller coaster he had me on and yet HE left ME and I haven't heard from him in weeks. He's telling everyone how great this new woman is and falling all over himself to make her happy. They've been together almost two months now. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to get over him -- the good AND the bad.

Maybe I need to know that I am lucky that he's out of my life and it didn't get to the point of him being physically abusive towards me (I've been told that had we moved in together or gotten married, the physical abuse would have started within a short time). I miss him, can't believe that he's with someone else and its like I never existed to him. I can't seem to get past this.

AnswerI am not going to tell you to stop missing or loving him but the person you thought he was....he wasn't. He moved on to another "victim" (and yes that is what you were too) and you are very lucky that he has found another victim. Even though you don't want to see someone else hurt (I am sure) but you are # 1 now. Believe me from experience I was the "new girl" and it didn't take long for his "true" self (the sociopath) to come out....I pray everyday that he will find a new victim so I will feel a little safer.

They don't change and he will continue to leave a trail of hurt people. I am guessing he is narcissistic also....sociopaths usually are. He wants his life to look like a fairytale (perfect)....because he is perfect and wouldn't settle for less than this. I am sure you were the perfect girl once too and all his friends said how he has never been this way before...blah blah blah. Hang in there and don't be jealous....she can have him and hopefully she figures him out sooner than later too but you worry about you and get out there and get your life back!

AnswerI am in your same situation--my sociopath lied and cheated on me for 7 1/2 years and I still miss him and wish he would call! Sick, I know. He had been leading me on with declarations of love and promises that we would be together and have a great life (long distance relationship). What i really miss is the idea of the fantasy relationship i let him create in my mind, even though his actions were saying other things.

Last week I found a card from a girl he has been seeing for almost three years! He tells her the same thing. I think he was actually going to propose to her though, because with her he also got instant friends (he had none of his own), and even a dog he told me was his but is actually hers! When he found out I exposed him for the liar and cheater he is, he called and told me I was evil and ruined his life! That probably hurt the most, to realize that the other relationship ending was so devastating for him. But again, it's also about outside appearances and she and her friends and family had really only seen one side of him.

So here he is in this so-called perfect new relationship, yet he was still cheating on her and lying to her face when she would question him about anything, and now we know he has also been with other women since she has seen him (and most definitely there were more girls he was involved with since I've known him). Those new relationships are always perfect from the outside (wasn't yours?) but you know the new girl has her suspicions--she just doesn't have the proof yet. I think you should have a nice little conversation with her.

Also, the way healthy people have relationships is so different from the way sociopaths have them: normal people connect on many levels and tend to have a feeling of some connectedness with the human race; sociopaths don't, period. A sociopath can only have a thin thread of connectedness to persons he or she uses for whatever stimulation they can provide. A healthy person finds that hard to comprehend, and even they can be pulled in.

Answer from a SociopathWhat's a normal relationship to you? You being weak and pathetic enough to let someone manipulate you. We are demonized because we can manipulate people with greater ease than anyone else and because we know we are amazing people. You shouldn't be coddled into believing you are mentally healthy and a victim. I've been in a relationship with people such as yourself and we do what we do to you because you're using us as a crutch and it gets tiring. Why do you think were charming? Because people are attracted to strong people. The only good relationship a sociopath will have is with another sociopath, because the only other people who would dare get into a relationship with us would be someone so weak and naive we would destroy them.

If you sociopaths are so perfect and strong then why are you always running away from everything? Strong people fight and stick it out through the hardest situations and by this they benefit by learning and they grow stronger in the process.... even if it is an inconvenience for them...and, my dear, that is what you people are...inconveniences to us. Then again, perhaps we shouldn't demonize you because it's your brain chemistry that is the issue from a physiological and psychological standpoint...factors such as inadequate amount of stress hormones etc..etc.. I will not judge you or any of your kind because we all have our little deep dark secrets hidden within our ID and I'd like to think of the "sociopath" as the ultimate personification of the ID where life is all about ruthless gratification no matter how illogical or harmful "It's" actions may be...Looks to me like the ID and the Ego are having a hayday with tugging each others strings...and the superego? pssshhh it's in a caged little box somewhere in the dark crying. You people need to remember that sooner or later, you always get caught and one day you just might get the needle or a bullet lodged into your head from a so-called victim. Hey, we can think about the pleasures of murder too...everyone does now and then...it's completely...human. Your not perfect...infact, you are classified as a person with brain deficiencies so obviously that's not perfect. After being exposed to your brilliance...we learned a thing or two and are able to mimic such behavior ourselves to break out of a dangerous situation...so keep teaching us, Master... and we shall prevail! Just remember that there are psychology books up-to-date, circulating around the world in every language that lists every little detail that describes what you truly are so in reality...you are just playing a very stupid, pointless game that makes up for your lack of whatever it is that you secretly lack. We all have special abilities and manipulation is just another card in the deck for the human race. In case you haven't noticed, there are many normal functioning people who manipulate and get away with it. It's everywhere. You just major in it.

The best way you can send a huge blow to a sociopath is to walk away. I like this one saying "You can fool people some of the time, but you can't fool people all of the time." If you are involved with a sociopath, eventually you will wake up . The things that they say won't add up and their charming façade will fade.