You cant stop crying someone please give you direction?
Get some counseling to find out why you are so eager to continue an abusive relationship. It is a mystery why so many women love men who abuse them. He uses you when he has no one else to use at the moment. You should realize he's doing the same thing to the other women in his life. He will never change. He has a chauvinistic attitude toward women and doesn't respect you.
Take charge of your own life and happiness. As long as you need an abusive partner to round out your life you will never become an independent, self-sufficient woman. Work on self-improvement until you become a woman who can select a partner who will add something good to your life, not misery and self loathing.
Choose someone who is fun to be with and who treats you with respect. Only you can demand it. You are the one who chooses how your partner will treat you by letting him know what he may not do. If he doesn't play by those rules then end the relationship. There are lots of good men out there.
For now. Take a break from romance. Get busy. Go out. Clean the cupboards. Do anything to get your mind off this drama. Stay single for a while until you can clear your head, turn it in the right direction and learn from your mistake.