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It is not fair to be accused of something that you are not guilty of. Your wife has reason to feel the way she does. You need to find out what that reason is in order to get beyond it. Talk with her about why she is feeling the way that she does. It may or may not have anything to do with you but finding out, addressing it and being as supportive as possible to resolve the issue is necessary if you want it to stop. Although (from personal experience) there are times that all efforts may be unsuccessful. Then seeking help through a counsler (which would include you) may be necessary. If you love your wife then address it and do what ever it takes to repair and move forward. Sticks and stones may break your bones but don't let the untrue words hurt you. False accusations of wrongdoing and crime, and spreading malicious gossip about a spouse (or other member of one's family) are common forms of abuse. However, it's impossible to answer the question (as to whether or nor it is abuse) in the abstract. If you are being wrongly accused, why is your spouse making these accusations? Has she perhaps misunderstood something? Most important of all, is this part of a wider, long-standing, systematic attempt to make you feel bad? Is she trying to exericise power over you by making false accusations? If it's part of a pattern of behaviour involving wielding power over you and not a misunderstanding, then it's a form of abuse.

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