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This is an excellent question, but more importantly, it is worded with eloquence and a deep interest in clarity and spelling. To answer your question with similar professionalism, we must first go back. Where, you might ask (if you were standing in front of me and had heard the previous sentence)? Deep, deep into my childhood. I was born in the bayou of Louisiana, where my most permanent company was fear. A very real and unmediated fear of alligators. Now, some people might say that alligators aren't nearly as dangerous as they seem to be when we see them biting deer in half on nature documentaries. And to that accusation, I would say "Yes, I agree," if the person accusing nature documentaries of fear-mongering were standing in front of me and were speaking to me and not to someone else who was standing near me and was a friend of theirs or at least an acquaintance. But the truth is, alligators are very real when you come from swamp country. And they're also very hungry. All the time. My mother would put out loaves of poisoned bread for the alligators (which is an entirely different story involving several of my cousins and one mean-spirited uncle who taught me the quickest way to dig a series of graves), and those loaves would almost always leave us with a potful of alligator meat (that would then have to be treated with black widow anti-venom (as the poison we used was from live black widows that were cooked in the bread)). But anyway, my family was relatively poor, as this was the Great Depression. And so, every Monday before school, my mother would dress me up in the only clothes I had available -- anti-venom-soaked rancid alligator meat. Needless to say, my bayou public school teachers didn't take to my strange attire, and so they would send me straight home to put on "real person clothes," as they called them, completely unaware of the irony that this was a fictionalized story and that they weren't even real in the first place. Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you, I was not in the mood to take my hovercraft home through gator-riddled waters while wearing the families of those gators as a necktie (the easiest clothes for my mother to fashion out of gator meat were neckties), so I instead went to a nearby gator-free water park, where I would often find total strangers celebrating their birthdays. One day they found out I was skipping class, and my teachers decided to do the only thing that would teach me a lesson. They sliced off my cockadoodle and threw it in a wood-chipper, then made me become intimate with a deep-fryer to cauterize the wound. And that, my friendly friend, is why I'm afraid to have fun and do stuff with people such as Birthday Parties Water Parks, basically stuff people enjoy.

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Q: Why are you afraid to have fun and do stuff with people such as Birthday Parties Warter Parks. Basically stuff people enjoy?
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