If a career in management conflicts with your daughter then what should you suggest to harmonise the two?

Answer 1

You could always use your project management skills in conflict management. Ways of managing conflict include:

• Avoid it - side-step the issue (everyone loses)
• Compete - try and win your daughter over (you win)
• Accommodate - submit to your daughter and change career (daughter wins)
• Collaborate - negotiate with your daughter (everyone wins)
• Compromise - pacify yourself and your daughter (you both win or lose)

Set the scene, gather the information, agree the problem, brainstorm possible solutions then negotiate a solution. Be clam, be patient and have respect. Employ active listening, use open questioning, summarise regularly, reflect, rephrase, prompt, handle emitions positively, use body language effectively, try and not be judgmental, and show empathy.

I remember once a conflict/negotiation situation that went on and on for days. No side were giving an inch and all were playing hard-ball. I suggested that before we proposed a break, our side writes down a position that we were willing to accept illustrating all the things we should not give away (even though we could easily have given them away). We left them strategically on the table for the other side to read when we were out of the room. When we came back into the room later, we started negotiating and reluctantly gave up the things we should not have given way. This gave the other side the illusion that they were winning over on us, and we eventually came to an agreement. The other side thought they had rolled us over, but we made sure that we kept what we wanted and gave up the things that either meant nothing to us, or cost us very little. We left the negotiations with our heads down, saying they were very good negotiators, but in fact, we had the best negotiated deal by far. You could always try that tactic. Be careful, it doesn't work more than once.