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Yes. Otherwise they'll get deeper and deeper into it. At lease they have a fighting chance if you tell them.

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โˆ™ 2006-05-08 07:11:00
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Q: If you know people who are being hurt by a narcissist should you tell those people that he is a narcissist?
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Is it necessarily true that those involved with a narcissist have low self-esteem?

No, not at all. Many people get involved with a narcissist not knowing that they are a narcissist. You can have very high self esteem when you meet these people. They are cunning charmers and it can take you quite some time to work out what they're about. In the process of it all though if you become a victim of the "N"s ways your self esteem may plummet. You may start to question who you are. It can chip away at your self esteem before you even realize it's happening.

How do you separate a narcissist from his willing victim?

The question I have for you is why would you want to do this? I understand that you think that this narcissist is bad news, but your question specifies the other person involved is "willing". Perhaps you do not understand the dynamics of the relationship properly. Maybe you are meddling where you shouldn't. Take a look at your reasons for doing this before proceeding. I understand what you are asking since I used to be one of those "willing" victims who was dazzled by the narcissist's charm. Lots of people did try to warn me that I was being used, but I was too much in the thrall of the narcissist. It took 8 years and 2 divorces before I came to my senses. Sadly I don't think you yourself can save the victim of a narcissist. The victim has to save themselves. You can tell them what you know during a time when they seem willing to listen, and hope they will eventually save themselves. Most do eventually get out. It is easy to get away from a narcissist once the charm wears thin and you finally see through them. The more frequently the victims hear the truth from others, the more likely they will get out sooner. When they finally do get out, they will be a lot wiser. Personal boundaries might be a good neutral topic to discuss with the victim of a narcissist, since that is one area where a narcissist runs rampant over his victim. If the victim realized how much his/her personal boundaries are being ignored, the victim could begin to put two and two together.

Manipulators and narcissism?

To a point they go together. It depends on how much manipulating is happening. Narcissism type people do not care about anyone else only themselves. They never feel guilty either. They use others as their puppets. You can't reason with them either. A manipulator is just that. But they have feelings of guilt at times. Not usually abusive mentally. You will know a Narcissist because they make you feel like you are the one who is going crazy. They make you feel like you can not do anything right. It will always be your fault. If you suspect you are with a Narcissist get out. There is no hope of them ever changing and they will only drag you down. Love will never be enough with those types of people and the abuse can get worse with them. They will find someone else fairly quickly to abuse once you leave. Manipulators are not much better, selfish and using others to get what they want. In my opinion, and I am not an expert but someone who got away from a narcissist, my life is balanced and normal and happy now. I do not feel crazy anymore. That Narcissist found another and is currently repeating the same abusive pattern with them. How do I know? They found me and asked me questions about him. It is not worth having those types of people in your life, it really isn't, cut your loss and move on. There are plenty of normal nice people out there.

If one is horrified because he just realized he was a narcissist does this contradict his own verdict of being a narcissist?

If one has narcissistic tendencies and characteristics then later in life when those are totally entrenched in one's character, even with self knowledge, my psychiatrist informs me that it is impossible to change them. She says that one has to learn strategies to deal with them. Surely, if one of the characteristics of a narcissist is to have a 'false self' then one is only creating a further 'false self' albeit with hindsight and awareness. Awareness of narcissistic characteristics is terrifying, and confusing, and I would question anyone that has not queried their own motives, or realised that they behave differently from others, at some point in their lives. Sometimes I feel that self knowledge is not always a good thing.

Why did some people want to protect the Jews?

Those people knew that innocent Jews were being killed for no reason but for the fact that they were Jews and they felt that was wrong, so they did their best to protect them, even if they put themselves in danger.

Related questions

Can someone with narcisistic personality disorder be faithful?

I believe the short answer is "no." A narcissist believes that all people should love him. Therefore, once he has gained your love, you will be just like everyone else. Narcissists are only attracted to those who do not love them. To love a narcissist is to experience heartbreak.

Is Hanabusa Satsuki from Yumeiro Patissiere a narcissist?

it's never stated clearly, like "I'm a narcissist!" But most people think so and at certain moments some characters( for example ichigo) think "narcissist" or something along those lines

What traits would disprove that someone has narcissistic personality disorder?

It's difficult to prove a negative. If a narcissist finds out some of those characteristics, all he has to do is be a good actor. Not being a narcissist is the only quality one could have to prove one is not a narcissist. There is no act a person can perform or one thing a person can do that would prove once and for all that the person is not and never has been and never will be a narcissist. Yet all the same, if you are not a narcissist, other people will recognize this fact, just as if you are, that too will come to light. Empathy. Narcissist's do not posess it nor do they understand it.

Can a narcissist be shy?

they can be quiet. a cerebral narcissist may not approach people or talk to those they feel are inferior, or that will not stimulate them in a way that provides supply. otherwise it would just be an act that furthers the false self they are portraying, or as a way of observing during the period where they decide what quality of supply source you will be. a shy person is timid, and afraid of being hurt in a social situation. the narcissist is malicious.

Why should the genocide in Darfur end?

It should end because millions of people are being killed, it is wrong to kill all of those people. It should end because thousands of people are dying and millions are displaced. It is wrong to kill all of those helpless people.

Can relationship make you a narcissist?

not so much a narcissist but for sure you will notice in hindsight that you were beginning to act like those morons do.......a co-dependent

What Christian faith says about living with sociopath or narcissist?

I think they'd say it's not the best thing in the world, those can be tough people to live with.

How do you get a narcissist to fall for you?

Why bother? He will only be falling for those bits of himself that he sees in you.

Should people be sent to space to explore the solar system?

As long as the risks have been minimalized and the people being sent accept those risks.

Why should people stop domestic violence?

It should be stopped because it's illegal and morally wrong to hurt other people. That especially goes for those you claim to love. Being in a relationship or being married does not mean you have the right to do that to your partner.

How do you make a narcissist attracted to you?

I think narcissists subconsiously classify their romantic relationships in two types; those who are "inferiors" who are meant to worship them and those who are "great" who might understand them and who are worthy of setting boundaries and limits. Narcissists are not ever really attracted to the "inferiors". If the inferiors ever contradict them, they are disposable. They treat inferiors differently than "great" people. Inferiors aren't allowed to set limits and make rules for the kind of treatment they receive from the narcissist. If they try to tell the narcissist they didn't appreciate their treatment, the narcissist laughs at them. Narcissists are attracted to the "greats" and might actually try to get a "great" back after offending him/her. "Greats" are those who can help the narcissist project his great image to the outside world. So, if you want a narcissist to be attracted to you, you should create an image or mirage that a narcissist can brag about to his friends. The "truth" about your accomplishments can be stretched a little. If you know a cerebral narcissist, you should inform him of your great cerebral goals and accomplishments. Buff up your job resume. Going out with him is almost like interviewing for a job (i.e., I received this GPA at Harvard and discovered the cure for cancer. I am also running a marathon and hope to give a piano concert a Carnegie Hall.) If you know a somatic narcissist, you should get a boob job or plastic surgery if you feel like he thinks you're his "inferior". If you look homely compared to your narcissist - cerebral or somatic, fix it by going on a diet, buying nice clothes, or getting cosmetic surgery. Almost any image is fixable in modern day times. Your image that you project to the world should be equally "great" if you want equal treatment and respect from your narcissist. Then, once your worth is almost equal to his, start setting boundaries and let him know he is disposable when he pulls one of his tricks. Maybe even leave him. There is nothing that makes a narcissist fall in love faster than him taking a little abuse and coming back for more. Narcissists are attracted to submissive people who worship them and have the same belief that only some people are "worthy". For instance, if a narcissist has the belief that people are only "OK" if they make all A's in school, then he is attracted to a submissive person who believes that she must make A's. Whether she makes the A's or not does not really matter. She must understand how hard it is to be as great as the narcissist and absolutely worship him and his screwed up beliefs. So, if you want to attract a narcissist, first you must be submissive and "safe" for him to approach. You should dress in washed out submissive colors, have submissive body language with a slight head tilt and with your toes slightly pointed inward, and your voice should be soft. You should give him a lot of eye contact and individual attention. You should say things that focus on the narcissist's greatness. You should compliment him on whatever traits he values most in himself. If he has certain goals, you should have similar goals or make some up and look upon his goals with utmost awe. You can also devalue those around him who would not measure up in his belief system. He loves to feel superior to people around him. The real question here is why would you want a narcassist attracted to you? They will never like you, they will only like what you can do for them. I wouldn't waste my time. This guy will use you up, spit you out and then be baffled as to why you don't want to do it all over again.

Should you tell friend their partner is narcissist?

A - How do you know they are narcissist? B - Why do you assume that the friend doesn't already know? C - Why do you think they might want to know? D - Is it any of your concern? If you can satisfactorily (and honestly) answer those questions then yes, tell the friend, otherwise leave the matter lie.

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