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Answer Your husband has to admit first that he has a problem. Counselling will only work if he is willing to put in the effort and you have to realise it doesn't work overnite. You haven't mentioned if drugs was involved. A physical abuser will always be an abuser unless they want to change and not because you gave him an altermatum to change. I know through experience i gave my husband too many chances he said the same go to counselling but he never changed I left him after 13 yrs i am happy now but all relationships are different. You may have that one out of a few that really love you and are willing to change. Good luck and I hope everything turns out. Remember: They don't know wot they lost until it gone for good.

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โˆ™ 2007-07-05 22:48:38
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Q: My husband says he wants to go to counseling and get help for his problem Can a physically abusive person change their ways?
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Why is your husband nice to you in front of people and mean to you when you are alone?

He is trying to put on a show. More than that, he is lining up allies and a fan club of people he has fooled into thinking he's a great husband. Many abusive partners do this. That way, if their abused spouse tells anyone of the abuse at home behind closed doors no one will believe it. They will blame the victim saying , "He has always been so nice to her whenever I have seen them out. She must be the problem." You should also consider that your husband is likely a narcissist. That is narcissistic behavior, i.e., creating a false, wonderful self to show off in public. You should think seriously about your future with him.

How do you get your husband with anger management problems to not yell at you?

I would assume calling a therapist would do the trick, or at least get to the base of the problem.

What is the difference between counseling and helping?

These two are very similar but I think the main difference is probably that counseling is more like giving advice in order to guide someone to better oneself. Helping is more like taking matters into your own hands as well as giving advice in order to better someone.

How do you know if your husband's drinking is becoming a problem?

It becomes a problem if he ever raises a hand to you or anyone in your family. If he excessively yells when he is drunk then that to can become a sign. If you ever feel threatened please call someone for help. Contact someone at AA or Alanon. Alanon is actually more appropriate for someone who is married to an alcoholic. They will be able to give you far more valuable information than will be available here. The reality is, if his drinking is causing a problem, he has a problem. If it's interfering with his work, his relationship with his family or in any other way causing problems, he's drinking too much. If he ever feels that he NEEDS a drink, it's a problem. If he EVER drives after having more than one beer or small glass of wine, it's a problem. If he ever makes excuses for his drinking, it's a problem. If he ever becomes agressive, abusive or violent when he's drinking, he has a problem. If you think it is a problem it probably is. Is he aggressive towards you and others.? Is it affecting his work? Are you short of money becasue of it? Have you suggested it is a problem and he is denying it? Any these should set the alarm bells ringing.

How do you stop a compulsive liar?

There is no easy way to get true compulsive liars to stop lying. Many compulsive behaviors are symptoms of deeper mental disorders and may require professional counseling and/or medication to treat the problem.

Related questions

If an abusive father does not believe he has a problem will counseling help?

yes but if hes refusing to accept the problem then he might refuse to go and see a councillor

How do you get over your abusive ex?

Go get counseling you can't do it alone. The main thing you have to realize is that it isn't your fault that you were abused. It was his problem not yours. Get help to help you understand this idea.

Is it true that if a wife asks her abusive husband to attend counseling and he agrees that it may just be a manipulation because he didn't think he had a problem until she was ready to leave?

"Is it true that if a wife asks her abusive husband to attend counseling and he agrees that it may just be a manipulation because he didn't think he had a problem until she was ready to leave?" Today I realized something very important. I am still angry for being abused and I've enabled my abusers to keep on abusing me not realizing that they don't know anything better or anything different. Abuse is actually a way of survival for some people. Manipulation is actually a way of survival for someone people. If a wife/husband must ask their spouse to seek help for abuse and they attend counseling because of the request and not the internal feelings of knowing they need help for being abusive the it is in fact manipulation. Get Out of those abusive relationships! It will not change only get worse. The will to change can only come from within you. If you love him give him the benefit of the doubt. It may just be that he was brought up to believe that the man should be the boss and has an unfortunate way of showing it. If he has counselling and does not change, leave.

Your husband won't talk to you but he talks to his mistress?

If you KNOW he has a mistress, why the heck are you talking to him anyway? Tell him it stops now, or if he is physically abusive as well, just get a lawyer or some other help. You do not have to put up with this behavior. ANSWER: So the best solution with your problem is ask him to move out or divorce you so you wont have anymore pain, problem and issues to deal with.

How do you leave your abusive husband for an ex boyfriend?

quietly do not let him know you are leaving. An abusive husband is a very common and serious problem. if you have plans to move in with your ex boyfriend then do it secretly make sure he is asleep or at least an hour or 2 away. if you receive threats do not answer he will find you. if he threatens you again go to the police it is no longer a small enough problem, CALL THE POLICE!!!

How can you convince a friend that she can't 'fix' her abusive boyfriend?

He can be "fixed". I fixed mine. I agree with Lorena, he can be fixed, but not by her. First of all he has to want to be fixed. If he decides he wants to change his abusive ways, then he needs to get professional counseling. Either from a minister or a licensed counselor. Until he does this, try suggesting to your friend to seek counseling herself. Tell her it will help her help him. Unfortunately, he doesn't think he has a problem, while at the same time he gets more and more violent towards her. While she doesn't tell him she thinks he has a problem, she tells others that she thinks she can still fix him despite this going on for over 1 year now. My concern is that she is going to get physically hurt in her efforts to do this.

How do you deal with your narcissistic husband?

You probably should have figured this out before you got married. Best advise really would be to get counseling, because that is a problem which will lead to severe difficulty.

What is the difference between traditional counseling and non traditional counseling?

traditional counseling is an aid or direction which given by the problematic person to their leaders,elderly, parents, husband,wife as well as family and neighbours members in order to cope with the situation. And non traditional counseling was a process of helping or giving advice to individual or group have a problem to cope with the situation through the uses of modern techniques like phones,internent,mass media,debates and different books to assist people who have the problem.

What should you do if you feel you might be mentally abusive or overly possessive with a lover?

Pull back, count to ten, and apologize. Talk frankly with them about how you might be treating them, and listen to their response. If you think you've got a problem, counseling or therapy can help.

Your abuser ex husband can be change actitud when he remarried and be a good man?

yES; There is nothing you cannot cure yourself of when you ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. A man or woman CAN CHANGE with counseling, a lot of self discipline, and CONSTANT WORK. Yes, men AND women, with help and counseling, CAN remarry and correct themselves.

Does an abuser need to be forced into an abuse programs for the sake of their victim?

Just break free and leave him. Once an abuser always and abuser. From me (a man) to you a woman. Depending on the severity of the abuse, yes, they can be forced into counseling for their abusive ways, but the problem is, "you can lead a horse to water, but not make them drink." The stats aren't very high on curing men with abusive behavior and it's not that they can't be helped, but many men feel that it's weak to seek counseling for this and they are in a denial mode and feel their way of treating those around them is normal, and it's everyone else that is wrong. The best thing to do if you or anyone else you know is in a bad abusive relationship is to leave the person and never look back. I was married to a mentally/physically abusive man and I left, got my own apartment, new job and new friends. No, it wasn't easy because he harassed me on occasion, but I stood my ground and reported him to the police. Good luck Marcy

What are the problems of guidance and counseling in the Philippines?

Abortion family problem self problem conflict with others

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