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While it is possible, and while any attempted baptism which takes place outside of the presence of a mother is certainly valid, such an action is usually inappropriate.

Usually the context of such a question would be a situation where the parents of a child are separated or divorced. While both parents have the right, duty, and obligation under Church law to present children for baptism, (all other things being equal: regular church membership and attendance, approaching one's own pastor, etc) this is usually a joint decision and action. When parents are separated or divorced, in civil law, it is the custodial parent who must consent to a baptism. Non-custodial parents may not present children for baptism without the consent of the custodial parent. In the event of joint custody, the parents must both consent. Usually consent is manifested by presence at a baptism celebration. Short of that, priests are wise to obtain written consent.

Thus, a non-custodial parent may not present a child for baptism on a weekend where he or she might have visitation with the children, unless the non-custodial parent has the expressed consent of the custodial parent. (A priest should ask for written consent in these cases.) Priests who err in this procedure and baptise without custodial parent's consent are usually acting in good faith, unaware of the cruel things that divorced people do to each other in order to 'get at' the other. A non-custodial parent who usurps the right and duty of a custodial parent to direct the religious upbringing of their children in most circumstances commits a grave offense.

It should also be noted that it is inappropriate for children to be baptized more than once. If, for instance, a child is baptized in a custodial parent's faith (let's say, Episcopalian), the non-custodial parent cannot later have the child baptized in the Catholic Church. Once baptized with water and the Trinitarian formula, always baptized. While anyone may baptize validly, non-custodial parents (or grandparents) should not attempt baptizing children themselves privately... presents a very difficult situation for all involved when proof of baptism is necessary for First Communion, Confirmation, etc. It may also constitute a grave offense against the rights of the custodial parent.

Also, it should be noted that Church law itself anticipates the case where death is imminent. If a child is in real danger death, either parent, even in the absence of the other, may move to have a child baptized. This would include the divorced/separated situation presented above.

Historically speaking, it was quite common before the modern age (1950's to present) for the father to take the newborn child to the local church to be baptized that very day.
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