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Yes, they are accountable for their actions. It is possible for them to change, but they need to go through professional help. And if they have a partner that is going to go through it with them, they will need counseling also. Both will need individual and couples counseling.
They should be held accountable.. to the maximum. My daughter is the administrator of a domestic violence shelter. I totally agree with her response to the "change his ways" query. (A question that is asked by 99% of domestic violence survivors). "You can take the animal out of the jungle but you can't take the jungle out of the animal." Once an abuser ALWAYS an abuser.
Abusers are fully accountable for their actions because they know right from wrong and do nmot act on an irresistible impulse.
It depends greatly on the particular mental illness. Bprderline personality disorder persons usually do not take accountability for their actions and feel a sense of entitlment. It is advise in the professional psychological community to leave the relationship and break all ties because of the prasinign and devaluing phases someone like this goes through the abuse is more likely to get worse upon returning especially with the high cases of denial found among those with BDP.
I advise all women & men dealing with someone with BDP to just get out!
Stalkers and the Borderline Personality
The Borderline Personality
In recent years psychologists have learned about and done case studies on a new personality disorder which the DSM-III-R classifies as an Axis II disorder- the Borderline Personality . This classification includes such personality disorders as the Anti-social Personality, the Histrionic Personality and the Narcissistic Personality. Several psychologists (including myself) diagonosed my stalker as afflicted with the Borderline Personality. Characteristic of the Borderline (derived from research done by Kreisman & Straus, 1989) are:
a shaky sense of identity
sudden, violent outbursts
oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection
brief, turbulent love affairs
frequent periods of intense depression
eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies
an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone
Not much research has been done on the Borderline Personality, and for many years it was difficult to diagnose- and to treat. A Borderline often feels as though his/her life is marked with a distinctive emptiness; a void in which a relationship often acts to fill. Many times the Borderline is a victim of an early dysfunctional family situation and/or emotional/physical abuse by those he/she trusted early on in childhood.
The Borderline is psychotic , in the original, psychological meaning of the term: he/she is not in control and not in touch with reality. To the Borderline, a softly spoken word of advice can be construed as a threat on his/her emotional stability. An outsider's viewpoint that the Borderline is not in touch with reality often ends in a bitter and irrational dissassociation from the outsider on the part of the Borderline. Often, the Borderline ends up very much alone and victim to his/her disillusions.
The Borderline stalker is very apt to see his/her actions as perfectly justified; he/she has paranoid disillusions which support these-often with disturbing frequency. The Borderline often has brief love affairs which end abruptly, turbulently and leave the Borderline with enhanced feelings of self-hatred, self-doubt and a fear that is not often experienced by rational people. When the Borderline's relationships turn sour, the Borderline often begins to, at first, harass the estranged partner with unnecessary apologies and/or apologetic behavior (i.e. letters of apology 'from the heart', flowers delivered at one's place of employment, early morning weeping phonecalls, etc.). However, the Borderline does not construe his/her behavior as harassment- to the Borderline he/she is being 'responsible' for his/her past behaviors.
The next phase of the Borderline Personality develops relatively quickly and soon he/she feels suddenly betrayed, hurt, etc. and seeks to victimize the estranged partner in any way he/she can Strangely enough, this deleterious behavior is always coupled with a need to be near or in constant contact with the estranged partner . While sending threats to the estranged partner, it is very common for the Borderline to begin to stalk his/her estranged partner in an effort to maintain contact. This effort is motivated by the excruciating fear that the Borderline will end up alone and anger that [the estranged partner] has put him/her in this position. We are finding, in many cases, that a great deal of stalking behavior is associated with Borderline or related personality disorders. Earlier research did not incorporate the Borderline Personality in stalking profiles; research now is beginning to focus on the Borderline in such disorders as Erotomania, etc.
What else can I help you with?
How does Odysseus respond to Eurymachus?
Odysseus responds to Eurymachus with anger and frustration, criticizing his behavior and holding him accountable for his actions. He warns Eurymachus of the consequences for his actions and demands him to change his ways.
If you unintentionally make your spouse afraid one time during an argument Should you be labelled an abuser considering it was not intended and an Abuser knowingly repeats his Abusive ways?
Well if its UNintended, then no it doesn't make you a abuser. The abuser continues his abusive ways even after it's been brought up to him or her. Just be sure to talk to your spouse about this problem. Let them know that you are sorry for what you did and you did not mean to do it.
What do Jews believe about the doctrine of sin?
Sin is when one violates the ways or commands of the written or oral Torah, either by not doing what one should, or by doing what is forbidden. People have free will and will be held accountable for their actions.
What can an abuser do to change her ways if she doesn't have enough money for various counseling programs?
There are free services offered at many churchs and I have heard being on whats called a sliding scale. In other words, on ones ability to pay. The main concern is the abuser get help and get it fast. Like NOW!!
What are the ways in which you cannot be heavily involved with an abuser but want to keep the relationship?
Abuser of what? drugs or you? Convince them to go to anger management, or rehab. talk to them and try to make them stop.
Is it bad to go around talking about your abuser and what they did to you?
If you are fearful of speaking out about your abuse, find legal ways to keep the abuser from harming you.On the very contrary. Sharing what you went through can help you achieve closure. Secrecy is the abuser's weapon!No. Exposure is protection.
Are there Videos and books available for abusive husbands who want to change?
The best thing is to go to a "Batterer's Intervention Class" if Anger Management doesn't work. The books should be for the victim. There is a book called "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft that I HIGHLY recommend. If he wants to change, then support him in taking the classes. Ask him questions. Appear interested and helpful and willing to talk in a polite conversation. Be there for them. It is VERY hard for an abuser to change their ways but if they are willing and are taking responsiblity for the severity of their actions then there is a chance...
Can a mental abuser really see the error of his ways and put things right?
Answer Sometimes they can and sometimes they can't. Unless they is some mental illness going on, people can change if they want to. Certainly a mental abuser who is not mentally ill will figure it out when he or she gets enough negative feedback/responses from others. Usually when someone is a mental abuser they need professional counseling to correct the problem. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If the person thinks what he or she is doing is okay or they get some kind of sick enjoyment, power trip from it they may not WANT to change.
Why do talk show hosts seem to look the other way when dealing with abusers and send the abuser home with the victim when the reality is that she faces serious repercussions for her candid statements?
The public heard her confessions and she has everyone's sympathy for the abuse. Do you think the abuser will go back to his old ways when people will now be watching him closer? It is possible that they could, but this person will have all sorts of hard evidence when she does finally divorce him. Being on TV may be a real push to change for this abuser.
Are actions physical?
Yes in some ways they are. For example: hitting is an actions and is physical.
If you exposed your abusers abuse will he abuse his next victim?
No matter whether you expose it or not, he will probably abuse his next victim anyway. An abuser finds it difficult to imagine not abusing another, as their abuse reassures them of their control. Abusers feel a need to exert control in order to compensate for a childhood which they had no control over. In some ways, we should pity them; but they cannot all be helped. An abuser can only change if they have the desire to change, and are prepared to face some very harsh realizations. Counseling is good for this, but not all counselors are prepared. The abuser will have to find one that suits him.
What does the narrator suggest will be the outcome if Helen Grey does not change her ways?
The narrator suggests that if Helen Grey does not change her ways, she will continue to live a life of loneliness and isolation due to her selfish and controlling behavior. Her actions will push others away and ultimately lead to her own unhappiness.
