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You Can Not Change a LiarYou can't change a liar; a liar has to want to change their ways. It's sad when some people constantly lie and they really don't mean to. It could be from their environment growing up where they were never given the coaching from parents that they could do anything they put their mind too, so they feel inferior. Often liars will dramatize on a situation to appear important to other people. We all know that when we lie it only leads to another lie, so honesty is the best policy, but these people that lie have had no one to tell them right out that lying is wrong. They need therapy.

Marcy

  • You can't change anyone's behavior--only the person themselves will do that if they see that how they're acting is wrong. We all have told little white lies--sometimes to impress other people or to avoid getting in trouble for a minor infraction, or sometimes to spare someone else's feelings. It's a whole different matter when someone lies on a regular basis, even if it is about things/events when it is obvious to see through the deceit.

A person whose lies are a regular pattern in their lies know what they are doing. They may be lying as a defense mechanism or because they simply enjoy "pulling the wool" over people. Most won't acknowledge their behavior. The best thing is to not invest a lot of confidence of faith in them, or expect them to have the same feelings that you and others they lie to have.

Change is a hard thing. It is hard enough for the person themselves if they want to change. You can't change anyone. The best that you can do is accept that the person is a liar and count that they are always going to lie to you.

How would you know they were being truthful if they said they changed?!

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13y ago
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15y ago

First, try to feel some compassion for the the person who's doing the lying. Most people lie to protect themselves, whether that's their self-esteem or own self-image. This doesn't make it right by any standards, but it does show you where it's coming from, and helps you to not take it personally. Lying and being untruthful is their moral and psychological issue, not yours. How do you "unmask" this liar, though? Simply hold up the mirror of truth. Do it wioth anger and rage, and you'll get a defensive reaction back. Do it calmly, yet firmly, with confidence (and then walk away, whether it's for a minute or forever) and you put the issue back on them, by basically stating that you see through them, are calling them in it, and are not going to participate anymore in their untruth.

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