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You can't. God sanctifies you, you don't sanctify yourself. One view on sanctification says that as life goes on, the christian becomes more and more holy and becomes closer and closer to attaining God's standard. However, according to reformed theology, God's standard is unnattainable. "for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23 (for more on this, read Romans 3:10-18) That is where the beauty of the Cross comes in. By being a perfect sacrifice, Jesus atoned for the debt that is impossible for you to pay. Therefore, as a Christian's life progresses, they should be able to see more and more of their sin, but at the same time, more and more of God's forgiveness. So the understanding of the need for the cross grows. It is this understanding of personal need for grace that allows a Christian to be gracious and forgiving to others. If you'd like to read more on the theology of sin, grace, and forgiveness, God's Way of Peace by Horatius Bonar is great to read.

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