The following are suggestions from contributors:
Here are a few of the things the narcissist finds devastating, especially in a court of law, for instance during a deposition:
- Any statement or fact, which seems to contradict his inflated perception of his grandiose self.
- Any criticism, disagreement, exposure of fake achievements, belittling of "talents and skills" which the narcissist fantasizes that he possesses, any hint that he is subordinated, subjugated, controlled, owned or dependent upon a third party.
- Any description of the narcissist as average and common, indistinguishable from many others.
- Any hint that the narcissist is weak, needy, dependent, deficient, slow, not intelligent, naive, gullible, susceptible, not in the know, manipulated, a victim.
The narcissist is likely to react with rage to all these and, in an effort to re-establish his fantastic grandiosity, he is likely to expose facts and stratagems he had no conscious intention of exposing. The narcissist reacts with narcissistic rage, hatred, aggression, or violence to an infringement of what he perceives to be his entitlement. Any insinuation, hint, intimation, or direct declaration that the narcissist is not special at all, that he is average, common, not even sufficiently idiosyncratic to warrant a fleeting interest will inflame the narcissist.
Tell the narcissist that he does not deserve the best treatment, that his needs are not everyone's priority, that he is boring, that his needs can be catered to by an average practitioner (medical doctor, accountant, lawyer, psychiatrist), that he and his motives are transparent and can be easily gauged, that he will do what he is told, that his temper tantrums will not be tolerated, that no special concessions will be made to accommodate his inflated sense of self, that he is subject to court procedures, etc. - and the narcissist will lose control.
Contradict, expose, humiliate, and berate the narcissist. Document every incident completely - behavior, late arrivals, injuries, neglect, threats, rages, etc. This makes it more difficult for them to continue making up more stories to explain away the behavior. We focused on specific behaviors or lack of. Research and then document. Facts and truth are best weapons against a Narcissist.