How do you know if you are a nymphomaniac?

Answer 1

Nymphomaniacs aren't some green-eyed monster that will devour you like a Black Widow. It's due to past history that ANY woman that acted like a man as far as wanting sexual pleasures was classified as a "nymphomaniac." Some wealthier women hundreds of years ago were treated for a "malady" like any other disease, while the poor women were sent to insane asylums. Women such as Cleopatra that could do as she pleased and had the same sex drive as a man and demanded it was considered a "Nymphomaniac." Up through to the 1950s sex was just part of marriage to bare children and a woman was to do her duty with her husband. The sex act was never discussed and one basically had to learn from trial and error with the dread of shame should one get caught having sex when not married or an unwanted pregnancy occurred. It wasn't until the sexual revolution in the 1960s (they went too much one way) did women realize they too could enjoy sex and express their needs. No longer was the label of "Nymphomaniac" given. Some psychiatrists believe a woman has it in her genes or has more hormones than most women, and this could be true. It doesn't really matter. As long as the woman with a huge sex-drive doesn't let it interfere with her work or personal life in general there is absolutely nothing wrong with her!

More information:

I am 57 year old with some experience on this topic. Here is what I say:

People vary dramatically in their sex drive. Some people would like sex 3 times a day and some people 3 times a year. Since this is a highly judged thing by people it is almost impossible for someone to be honest to others about their sexual interests, desire or even orientation. It's an extremely difficult topic to get clear answers and real facts. So, in my experience a lot of men say they are more interested in sex than they really are and a lot of women say they are less interested in sex than they are. However, mismatch of sexual desire is responsible according to some statistics for 50% of failed marriages and lots of women cheat on husbands. I have known many women (more than half of married women) who lie to their spouses about the number of partners they've had. The bottom line is that some women are very sexual and have as high desire as men or possibly more. Many women don't. My experience suggests that approx 1/3 or 1/4 of women are very orgasmic and love sex. A lot of the other women are way less sexual. A minority of women between 5%-10% are super highly sexed, maybe this is what the term nymphomaniac refers to. I have known a number of these women and frequently they hide their sexual character because it is simply totally socially unacceptable for women to be this way. Women who are sexual like this have said things to me like: "I don't believe in rape. I would just lay back and enjoy it." I think this woman was naive but she said it. I have known women who can have orgasm after orgasm and engage in sex 2 or 3 times a day for years happily. They get cranky if they don't get sex every day. I knew a woman who when her boyfriend suggested to cut back from 3 times a day looked like her lollipop was being taken away. I emphasize this is a small minority maybe 5-10% of women. Another 15% or so like sex a lot but aren't super sexed like this minority I am talking about. The vast majority of women tolerate sex, a minority hate it. However, before you think men are different and uniform in desire the same comments apply to men. A lot of men lie about their real interest in sex one way or another. I have seen men lying about their desire in the opposite direction as women. In the company of men or women a man feels socially unacceptable in many scenarios if they don't express constant overriding interest in sex. Frequently these men have sex very infrequently in fact and show no desire to change that reality other than occasional social scenarios where they express their testosterone level is high high high.

I have no idea why the 5-10% of women who are super sexed (i.e. nyphomaniacs) are the way they are. I don't see any childhood experiences that are common. I don't think any of them were abused. I don't know of any reason other than I think their bodies were born to be more orgasmic, to enjoy sex more than others. They probably have slightly higher hormones but I have not measured their hormones or have any evidence of this. I believe the construction of their bodies, the way their sex organs work is different than the way other women are constructed so that they are driven to the behavior they have by the very fact they in fact enjoy sex more than other women. They have had more partners than other women for sure. The average number of partners of these women was probably 30 or higher but I see this as a result of the facts of their bodies not some moral weakness. If you really enjoy sex you are much more likely to engage in it. If you are with someone who wants it a lot more than you you may compensate and vice versa you may be okay with less sex at first but sooner or later the true desires of sex are very unchangeable. A woman is as likely as a man to seek outside satisfaction. Studies have shown that sexual behavior is among the most difficult things to change in anyone. If someone has a desire or need it is almost impossible to change that. You can try but it is going to make everyone very unhappy. I would suggest that it would be a lot better if people knew in advance about these things but that seems to be very hard to really know. I know many people will say they they know. I hope they are right however, as I said earlier 50% of relationships may fail due to differences in sexual desire and it is frequently because the woman wanted more.

Several of these women I knew were very orgasmic meaning they could orgasm regularly and easily frequently multiple times in one session. This is a gift because many women find it hard to orgasm. In fact a significant fraction of women have never had an orgasm or have one rarely and with great effort. I think if you can't enjoy your body the way it was designed to operate it is a deficiency but it is the way it is. I don't think anyone should judge someone based on things they can't control. I can suggest that the women who were highly orgasmic discovered this fact almost instantly after they started having sex. I don't think they "discovered" some secret sauce or technique. I believe that the vagina, clitoris or nerve density, nerve placement, organization of the brain, hormone level could all be different in these women. One study showed that if the clitoris was located close to the vagina it made it easier for women to orgasm during intercourse. However, easy orgasms during intercourse is not necessarily the key factor. Several women in this 5-10% category had one or more orgasms during intercourse easily, another frequently had them but not always and I knew one woman who hardly ever seemed to have orgasms with intercourse but was just as into sex as the others. An important characterization of women in this 5-10% category is an ability and desire to think about sex constantly. They could be doing one thing and within seconds they could be in the middle of a hot sexual encounter and orgasming or fantasizing about sex. Many people do not have the mental facility to change their state of mind so quickly and easily to a sexual orientation. I have known many women who require a lot of attention and time to get "into the mood." A lot of men cannot adjust quickly to a sexual state of mind from a more analytical frame. These people sometimes can be tested and show a "feeling" personality not as analytical as other people. This doesn't mean they aren't smart but that their personality type is more feeling oriented. Their smarts are directed in a different way, possibly to physical things like sports, dance, music, art. These women who are in this group had different childhoods but none of them had sex very early in life. Frequently they started sex closer to 18 years and none had sex at 16 or earlier that I know. I believe it requires a combination of physical and genetic, experiences in life that make one more sexual. There is no single characteristic that probably determines exactly who is in this 5-10% category.

In general the group of women I think in this 5-10% category enjoyed sex immensely and it is obvious that this enjoyment is not a ploy or some deceit to attract men. Some women clearly will have sex just to gratify a man. These women are not doing that. They are doing it for selfish reasons. They want it, they like it, they need it. I knew a woman who had several friends who were all highly sexed and they talked. This is rare because these women are rare and have trouble finding other women like themselves. These women would talk constantly about sex like guys. One woman liked to cheat on her husband to have strange every 6 months as she said. The other women didn't have an interest in that. You can take a judgmental point of view of this and view these women as deviants. I think that is a serious mistake. It is also in my opinion NOT a health problem or a disease or a mental defect. Highly sexed men are not considered diseased or sick.

There is simply not enough information for anyone to be judgmental. Nobody knows the answer to why, if it is good or bad. To me, this issue is no different than homosexuality. I believe women who are born with highly sexed bodies are gifted. They are able to enjoy their bodies much more than the average woman. I think this is how the body was intended to function and that lacking the ability to orgasm easily or to enjoy sex is more of a "problem" than women who enjoy it immensely enough that it means it dominates their thoughts and behavior more than other women who don't. To me it seems more normal, more healthy if a woman's body enjoys what should be enjoyable, that she sees the fun in sex for sex sake not just the morally acceptable sex as part of a committed relationship but simply enjoys sex as sex. If someone can throw a ball really well we don't say, as long as they throw it in a rule based ball throwing sport it is morally okay otherwise they are sick people. It is just that they have a variation on the human condition and we should embrace people not seek to put down others simply because of the way they were born. At this point there is so little information I don't believe anyone can make a judgement. Similarly, I won't judge people who have no interest in sex. If you don't, you don't but if you do, you aren't sick, you are who you are and you should find someone who shares your interest rather than trying to change yourself.

I want to emphasize all I've learned in all these years of studying sex and talking to people, living with people and engaging with them on this sensitive topic is that there is no normal. I don't believe that if we could get real solid actual information about how people truly are that we would find there is NO 80% of people fit into a neat simple common profile sexually. I have learned over the years that everyone is different sexually and it is a continuum from no interest to very interested. So there is NO normal sex. There is no normal desire. It is a spectrum and everyone is placed differently on this continuum. The important thing is that there are people like you. Whatever your position on this spectrum there are people who share your same level of interest. I don't know if this is the only thing that you should look for in a partner but I doubt it. It is something to consider when selecting a partner. If you have a partner who is significantly different than you are then you are likely to have a problem that will make you and the other person unhappy. In many cases people put up with that unhappiness but if possible I would definitely try to find someone close to your level. The problem is that it is nearly impossible to find out this information in the dating process. People are deceptive and act differently from their nature during dating and in a relationship frequently lying about all kinds of things to gain acceptance from their love interest. I don't have any simple answers.

I don't believe the science exists to answer the question why some women have very high sexual desire and interest to the point that they may be called "nymphomaniac." I don't believe it is a disease or moral weakness. Biologically there must be a combination of chemical differences (hormones, etc), physical enhancements (construction of the sex organs and brain construction), experiences in life, genetic differences. I have a feeling all of these come into play to some extent to cause some women to like sex a lot more and think about it, be hyper interested in sex and wanting it much more than others. If any woman or man reading this is thinking someone else is "sick" because they are very sexual or if you are a woman who is very sexual and feeling guilty about it consider if you are judging based on simply "the way people are" and the person can't help it and shouldn't help it. Sure, nobody should do anything to the point it hurts others or causes problems in your life. All these women I know who are like this are happy and very successful women. Frequently I have found they know how to attract very successful highly sexed men and keep them. In my opinion it is just as likely that a women or man who doesn't like sex as much as their spouse will cause a problem in a relationship and they frequently feel the need and desire to be judgmental of people who are more sexual. The same is true of people ascribing negative characteristics of people who are messy or too germa-phobic, people who are rich and poor, people who are stupid and smart, people who are different than me. Try to not be judgmental. I believe it just makes you unhappy and doesn't solve anything.

Answer 2

Nymphomania, now referred to as hypersexuality disorder, involves persistent and intense sexual desires and behaviors that can cause distress or impairment in daily life. Signs may include engaging in excessive sexual activity, feeling unable to control sexual urges, and prioritizing sex over other aspects of life. A mental health professional can provide a proper diagnosis and guidance on managing symptoms.

Answer 3

Hypersexuality is extremely frequent or suddenly increased sexual urges or sexual activity. Although hypersexuality can be caused by some medical conditions or medications, in most cases the cause is unknown. Mental health problems such as borderline personality disorder can give rise to hypersexuality, and alcohol and some drugs can affect social and sexual inhibitions in some people. A number of theoretical models have been used to explain or treat hypersexuality. The most common one, especially in the popular media, is the sexual addiction approach, but sexologists have not reached any consensus. Alternative explanations for the condition include compulsive and impulsive behavioral models.

It can afflict both men and women. In men it is called satyriasis in women it is satyriasis.

Answer 4

If you are obsessive about sex you could have a problem. Seek help.

Answer 5

Yes, but men so afflicted are called satyriasis.