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Try harder.

If you focus on your partner's pleasure, then it will automatically increase your pleasure, as well.

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The act of sex can be mechanical if you focus on "getting your rocks off". This scenario is focusing solely on you, and is usually what happens when you are not emotionally involved with your partner. While the feeling might be good, it is not as good as when you are in a longer term relationship with your partner. The longer term relationship lets you find the other person's "trigger points", letting you have a more intimate experience.

For men, making sex better involves visual stimulation. Ladies, this is why sexy lingerie is a must. Costuming is very visual, and he loves to look at you in something he considers stimulating. Simple naked works in the beginning because it is new, but a longer term relationship might need more artful visual pictures. Surprise him with lace, stockings (not panty hose) or even a wet tee shirt. This also satisfies your desire to be looked at so choose a costume with as much care as you do your outer clothing.

The classic French maid costume, thongs, garter belts and stockings, altering your physical appearance with makeup or shaving, or even removing an article of clothing can be very appealing. There is an art to "teasing", so take the time to learn what he considers sexy. It might be that he is a "breast man" or a "butt man" or a "leg man". In each case, find out what he is attracted to, then play up that part of your body. A scandalous bra, panties, or stockings can make sex more fun.

For men, your lady takes time to "warm up". While she is able to have multiple orgasms, it still takes time to get there. Be prepared to enjoy the warm up period.

You have certain triggers on your body that you know, let her in on the secret! And learn her triggers...she has them also. They can include the back, breast, buttocks, knees (back of them), or even feet. Women are more inclined to the touch process, so keep those hands manicured and use lotion. Nothing is more irritating than a hangnail on a sensitive spot. It is not manly to make her hurt in an intimate encounter.

Bathe!!! The nose is a sexual zone too, so nasty doesn't cut it. There is nothing more sensual than a mutual bathing experience. Washing each other can be very exciting without the effort of costuming. Once again, be prepared. Bath gels, shampoos, and moisturizer are important accessories to a sexy bath. Big fluffy towels and sensual rugs are wonderful accessories too...if you get that far.

Essentially, the key to better sex is to take your time. Foreplay is essential in making sex better, and the more you know your partner, the better it can be. Familiarity does not breed contempt, it breeds better sex. Knowing what your partner's triggers are will make the encounters better, last longer, and be more satisfying than the simple mechanics of the act.

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14y ago

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