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Elder Abuse

How does an adult caregiver deal with a genuinely narcissistic elderly parent?

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September 12, 2011 9:29PM

Is this elderly person really narcissistic or are they suffering

from Dementia or Alzheimers. My bet is on the last two. These are

the symptoms:

ParanoiaAccusing others of stealing or doing things they are

notArguementativeCryingRagesMemory loss Regaining memory for short

periods of timeStriking out at the caregiver (kicking,

slapping)Abusive languageAlienating themselves from family and


These are only a few of symptoms. I went through this with my

own mother and took it personally for awhile. Then I realized

through the doctor after she had an MRI scan done on her that she

was indeed suffering from Dementia. They put her on a drug called

"Resperidol" and she was almost her old self. Unfortunately, this

drug is not a cure, but does slow down the retardation of Dementia

and Alzheimers.

I do sympathize with you, but please, if you can, have this

person evaluated by their family doctor before making judgment

calls against them.

Good luckMarcy

"Answer" id="Answer">Answer

There is no dementia present in my father. He is a classic

narssist. At the ripe age of 93 he only becomes more vile each and

every day. I despise him for abusing my Mother, myself and sexually

abusing both my children. My father so severly damaged my son that

he lives on disability after graduating with a masters degree.

As my Mother lay dying in her hospital bed, he came to visit her

once, I refused to bring him, she had suffered enough. One thing my

Mother despised was to have her feet touched and the first thing he

did was tickle her feet. After her death and during the funeral

arrangements we had agreed on mid-grade funeral. My brother had ben

buried in a copper tone casket, I found it more than appropriate to

bury mother in the same kind of casket. My father was all for it,

later that night I overheard him speaking to another family member

that he had wanted her buried in a white casket. Liar, and classic

N signature. I always bought my Mothers' clothes and chose what I

wanted her buried in and that turned into another war. What does a

93 year old man know about fashion and how a woman should be buried

and presented at death? She wore a beautiful Calvin Klein suit,

which I knew she loved. So, now I am stuck with father all the

time, leaving my own home and husband. My father and I constantly

fight and I feel so guilty, but I know that is all part of his

game. He will not take his heart meds, he must have them delivered

like Mother used to do. I will not. He complains about his menu,

because it is not like Mothers. On and On he goes about everyhting,

until I explode.

My son was a huge help to me at first, but then father smarted

off to him about leaving a faucet dripping. The faucet has been

dripping for 12 years. My son, is very verbal and really ripped

into him and I thought he might even try to kill him because he had

picked up a knife. This is the posistion a N puts you in after

years of abuse. My son not only suffers from his grandfathers

abuse, but the trauma of knowing he physically beat myself and

Mother. After that incident my son had to be hospitilized for four


My whole family has suffered so much due to this horrid man.

Selfish,arrogant, and so much more he was, but to everyone else we

were the perfect family. I keep his secrets no more and finally

expose him for what he is-NOTHING.

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