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The only way is NO CONTACT ever again. Do not fool yourself during lonely moments and make excuses to see the N. Not even to rub his face into how good you look and are doing. Dont because they have a way of tearing you down once they see you moving on. And until you are completely over him/her you can be persuaded even when you dont think so, if they push the right buttons. The person I was involved with did this over and over. Each time I felt more deflated and weak. Until I finally had enough and ended all contact. He saw me doing well and followed me to my car one day. Oh he acted so casual like it was a mere coincidence running into me. He then proceeeded to chat me up in such a non chalont way and i wanted his approval. WITHIN TWO HOURS he was being mean and saying horrible things to me. He saw that I was hooked in again and pounced! I finally at that moment looked at him and said this will be the last time we ever talk. I told him he was a coward and it was time for me to let him go. He has since tried to get my attention by resorting to childish and pathetic manouveres. I ignore him. I dont show hate, love, like, anger, pity. I show NOTHING. It enrages him. I guarantee he has moved on and is already in the process of wrecking someones life. Im fortunate that I finally got a backbone and told him to get lost. I have stayed away from him. Tell yourself at these weak moments that what you will get back is the same old misery. Except it will be even worse. I guarantee he or she will will be furious that you ended the relationship/marriage and they will see it as payback time. Then he/she will attempt to wear you down even more. Do not wait for the time to arrive (and it will if you stay) that you lose yourself completely. Right now it may feel like your self esteem and pride is gone. However you can get these back by staying away from the N. However if you take them back you may lose these things for good and never bounce back. Stay away from misery. Life is too short.

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19y ago

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