If you had to go to a funeral for someone you loved is it normal to want to see them alone to say your goodbyes and for the deceased to say their goodbyes and that they love you?

Yes it is normal and it's done all the time. It doesn't matter what other people think. Some people think you are born, live, die and that's it. For many of us we know that there are things we may never understand after the death of a loved one. You most certainly can go and see the person you love and sit as long as you like and talk to them on a normal basis (as if they were right there with you) and who is to say or can prove that person isn't right there spiritually with you. If you have always treated that person with love and kindness (no relationship is a perfect one) then you can be rest assured that you need not worry if they love you or not.

My husband and I believe that when a person is buried you pay your respects, but we don't believe the spirit is there and that only the shell of that person lies beneath the ground. Some people believe in cremation and to my husband and I that makes more sense because in the Bible it says "Ashes to ashes and dust to dust." However, because that is our belief doesn't make it so. We visit his parents grave site for the first year and we only go up once a year now to be sure the grounds around the site are kept tidy and we clean the stone (out of respect.) There was one year I saw a lonely old man sitting on a lawn chair staring down at a marble plaque. I was curious so I slowly and quietly went closer, just enough where I could hear him. What I heard broke my heart and this was the conversation: "Hi Martha, you know I love you girl. I miss you every day and I am going to live for the both of us and keep myself busy, but honey, I count the days until I can be with you." Tears streamed down my face but I realized that when younger I feared death and by getting to know older people and experiencing more of death it wasn't such a terrible thing. This old man had great knowledge and I was listening! There IS more to life after death. So my dear, feel free to believe what you want and I side with you on the fact that yes indeed your loved ones love you and they hear you. Go have a visit and talk to them as if they were sitting there and let your heart just pour out your feelings. It's called "grieving."

I would also like to add that many people have experienced a loved one coming to them in a dream or actually standing close to them. I remember seeing a story on TV that a young woman with 3 children had her mother living with her. Her mother unfortunately passed away. Shortly after the young woman was in a deep sleep and she heard her mother's voice calling out her name. Being sleepy and not fully awake she never thought that her mother had passed away and how could this be. She cleared her head and there at the foot of her bed was her mother standing there and the message was, "The apartment building is on fire ... get yourself and the children out!" Her mother had saved her life and that of her children. Some people will poo-poo this as imagination and the smoke or heat of the fire woke her, but those people never keep an open mind into the unexpected of life after death. To say you have all the answers as to what has happened after death is simply a ridiculous and ignorant thing to say.


If the dead body talked to you, you've got a big problem. If you talked to the deceased in your mind (so to speak) then your OK. AnswerWe are talking about the soul (spirit) here and not the phsycial body.

A comment

Death and funerals are very stressful for most of us, and it's not unusual to hear, see, or say things that may seem inappropriate. It's probably best to give folks a "pass" under these circumstances.