Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence
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If you let your abuser back in your life how do you end it after one day?

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2005-09-30 21:47:48
2005-09-30 21:47:48

You don't! You need a plan and this is a good way: Contact your local "Abused Women's Center" (and if you can't find one go to your local Mental Health Clinic and they will lead you in the right direction.) Make an appointment to see a counselor there and tell them your story. PHONE FROM A PAY PHONE OR CELL PHONE. They basically set things up for you and give you a "safe place" to stay, while also giving you psychological counseling and legal counsel if necessary. If you have children take them with you! When you have accomplished that, then say ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO YOUR ABUSER OR ANY FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIENDS. You can contact family and just one trusted friend while in the "safe house" and you should, or they'll be worried sick about you. NEVER, BUT NEVER tell them where this safe house is because if the counselors finds out you will be kicked out! Pack a bag (taking only what is necessary) and hide it. Leave no phone messages that can be traced and delete EVERYTHING on your computer where you have been discussing your feelings or actions re the abuser. The reason you need counseling is you are a "victim." Yes, that's right! Abusers control their victims and take their dignity and self esteem away from them. I can't tell you how proud of you I am, that you are taking this big step to get away from your abuser. The true test is ... staying away from him or choosing another partner who is also an abuser. You may think you aren't going to go back and that no, you aren't going to chose another guy that will abuse you, but the percentages out there speak the truth. Over 85% of women go back to their abusers for several different reasons. You need to build your self confidence up and also realize the strengths within yourself and this is where the counseling service comes in. They will give you tools to live by. You will also meet other women in your predicament. If you think you are alone, you are not. There is an extremely high number of women abused out there, and the first step to having a good life is the one you are taking right now. Good luck God Bless Marcy

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