Its not supposed to look like anything in particular. you can expect a lot of swelling, sometimes a white ring around the piercing, which is all perfectly normal If it bleeds a little bit that is fine too. i suggest you clean it with antiseptic mouthwash without alcohol or salt water religiously.
Quite honestly, I think a tongue piercing looks GREAT on anyone. But really, if you want a tongue piercing, it's about what you think. Not what other people think about it. If you want it, and you know you'll like it, then go for it. You don't have to worry about what people will say.
The same as before the piercing. Look you will get a whitish film on your tongue once it's been done but generally a day or two after the piercing, it's nothing to worry about just stay in your ice and you will be fine.
IS the jewelry really tight? Its not uncommon for the bottom ball to "nestle" and cause a dent on the underside of your tongue but not usually on the top. I sugggest that you go ask your piercer since they can actually look at whats going on :)
Well actually that's not a good thing, the barbell was too short for the piercing to allow for swelling, the expansion of the piercing hole is and indication of some sensitivity to the metal or the aftercare product you are using. Consider seeing your piercer tomorrow to have them take a look.